A week off from your marriage Is it worth it? |
I have been watching TV more since I retired. Mostly because I'm home many times alone while my husband still works. Many time the TV is on talking to me. Then there are times that I actually stop and watch all or some parts of a show. Recently I watched part of a show where there were two couples who were married. Since I didn't see it from the beginning I have to assume some of the plot. So what I deduced was that the couples were having some problems or had become complacent or both.
The wives decided that they would give the husbands a week off from marriage. Just like in school when you are allowed to leave the class to do whatever that teacher would give you a hall pass. Which means that you have permission to be out of class for however long that pass allows. What these wives did was to give the husbands a week long hall pass where they could live as if they were never married. The wives took the children and went away. The husbands and the wives could have sex, date, party, or anything that they felt was needed that they were not getting at home with their spouse.
This movie had me thinking "what would I do if we both decided to have a week off from marriage"? Would I run out looking to be the old single girl that I used to be? Would I run to the night clubs or single in spots to cruise for men? Really after being married for so long what really would I do? Then I thought what would my husband do if given that time without the Godly restraints of marital standards?
I waited until my husband got home and just asked him. The first thing that he said was "you know I don't like questions like this. I don't want to think about life without you not even for a week." I said "oh come on I just want to know. Not that I want this but for the ministry...the ministry!!!" We both laughed and he agreed to answer the question. As I waited to hear what he was going to say now that he had a hall pass to think about having one I noticed that suddenly I really didn't want to know. I didn't want to think that he would want a week off from our marriage.
It seemed like it took him forever to answer the question. Then he sat down and pulled me down with him. He looked into my eyes and spoke softly. Then he just started telling me what he would do if he had a week off from me. This is his week off from marriage hall pass: I would take a nap because I'm tired. Once I wake up then I would fix me something to eat. After that I would watch every sport event on the tube. I would read my bible and do some laundry and then I would get ready for work the next day. After that I would go to bed. The next day I would get up and go wherever you are and bring you home. You see life would not be life for me if you are not there.
I don't need a week off from marriage to run around and find women again. I am so beyond that and I don't desire to see any other face but yours. There is too much work trying to get to know someone else. I already know you and you know me. I married you because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you for better or for worse. I know this is not what you wanted but this is what I had to give.
It was as if I had been holding my breath waiting for his response because all I knew was that I could breath again. I kissed him with a passion that suddenly rekindled from deep within and believe me we had a great evening (wink wink).
He asked me later on what I would do if he gave me a week off from marriage and I laughed and said that I would do the same thing that he did minus doing the laundry...ha,ha,ha. You see marriage is the highlight of our life. There is nothing out there that I want we have it all inside our own world.
God created us to be social creatures we want to be with someone and grow together. No one said marriage would be easy but as you travel down the road of marital bliss you evolve to another level. As you manage the many seasons of marriage you find that your marriage changes and grows. Before you know it your marriage does not look the same as it did when you first started your marital life. There is no way I would want to go back to the beginning or to the way we were when we were a couple dating each other.
While we still date in our marriage its not the same. We know each other. We know what each other likes and we don't like. We know how to compromise for the better of the marriage. We love each other but we now know that love is not just physical or emotional. We know that as lovers we have to choose to love each other no matter what. We also know that we must like each other. That other than Lord Jesus we are each others best friends and we must treat each other as we would treat a best friend.
I could not imagine at this age going back on the single scene. I wouldn't have a clue and wouldn't want to learn what to do. I would just be a servant for the Lord for the rest of my life then to be out looking for love in that way. I am so happy that at 38 years of marriage I am with the love of my life and my friend that can make me laugh in an instant. I was glad that I watched the end of the this movie because it did give me something like this to think about.
I so love how God created us to be in this marital union. As we unite with Him and place Him as the Head of our marital union then we grow like a mighty maple tree. Tall strong with many branches and leaves that grow and change during different seasons. As I think about it now I was not one of those students who wanted to get a hall pass to get out of class. I actually liked being in the classroom learning just like I like being in the confines of marriage learning to grow for our lifetime.
There should not be any free hall passes in marriage. Each marriage is different. We all create our lives together that would better the couple that we are and the family that we would one day become or have become. Marriage God's way will guide us through the rough times and celebrate with us during the good times. I can surely say that I'm a better person since I've been with my husband all these years and he states that he feels the same way. That does not mean that we are not strong individuals but our marriage helps our individual selves.
So I guess you are wondering what happened with the movie hall pass. Well the husbands and wives realized that they were too old and happy after all in their relationship. While they found the scenario exciting in the beginning the freedom to go out and just do whatever they thought they were missing got old. They soon found out that they really didn't want that and wanted to be with their spouses. See even in fiction the bottom line is being with the one you have vowed to love through thick and thin is better than running around and having freedom to play. Playing is not something you want to do even for a week. If you want to play its better to play with someone that knows how to play well with you.
Now I give you that very question. If you were given a hall pass from your marriage to do whatever you wanted for a week would you one take it and two what would you do. Write us and let us know.