Let's Fall In Love Each Day

Married couples can fall in love each day

Being married comes with many rewards that most couples overlook. We have been blessed with a lifetime partner. Someone that we can have fun with and do things with for as long as we have life within us. When we approach our marriages with this in mind then there should never be a dull moment. We should embrace the fact that we don't have to be alone. We have someone that will be there to do all the things that we can to do. While we have a joint focus in our everyday living we must likewise have that same type of focus in our togetherness.

When we come together in just fun and relationship before we know it we start to fall deeper in love again. Being together enjoying one another as your partner and friend will deepen the love level that is your base. God blessed us with being together as one for a lifetime. For most that is at least sixty years. Just think what you can do with those years. Yes we have to take time to build the family, home, and business.

However at the same time we must remember to build the love. The more we are together to just being playmates, buddies, and best friends the deep the love grows. In fact you can fall more in love each day. What I have found over the close to forty years of marriage with my spouse is that now after empty nest we have developed a patterned that allows us to just enjoy each other. Each week that passes I've noticed that our love has gotten stronger.

It has dived deeper in the sea of love. No matter how deep it goes down we never drown but bounce up to the surface with more joy and love then we could image that we could ever have. I'm here to tell you this month to keep loving. Everyday provide time for you and your spouse to laugh and play. He/she is your own personal playmate enjoy each other. If you can't play a game then make each other laugh. Laughing is the greatest way to bond and it will keep your love level growing deeper. 

I encourage you this month to seek ways to cause your marriage to reach a deep level of love. For most people we are heading into the season where the weather outside is cold. You want to be in the house cuddling with your best friend. When you do this then you will see the little buds of new love growing. As you keep watering those buds and feeding them then your love will just take off and you will be back to a level of joy that you could not ever thought you could be. Enjoy the life time gift that God has given us. Seek a deeper love each and everyday with just a little bit of fun and joy added to your norm and before you know it you will be deeper in love with one another. 

Christmas Book Sale

This is a direct sale by the author
for the Christmas season
11/28/13-1/6/14

SaBrowny's Book and Publishing Tip

Christmas is coming and everybody would love a nice sale. Here at SaBrowny Rae Books we are offering our paperback copy of Backdoor Tales:Tears of the Serpent and September Love at a great direct author sale discount. Each book will be signed by the author and you will save $5.00 off the original price.

That's right each autographed copy will be on sale for $10.00. This will make a great keepsake and such a wonderful winter read. Contact us via our Facebook Fan page with an inbox and you will receive the pay-pal information. We have discounted the shipping and handling price as well.
The sale runs from 11/28/13-1/6/14

The best gift to give this year is a copy of the written word!

Inbox us at:
www.facebook.com/sabrownyraebooks

I've Been Married for Twenty Years Without One Disagreement

I would like every married couple who has been married for at least one year to sixty years to raise your hand if you have never been angry with each other. I should not see any hands raised. If there are a few all I can say is :"Lies you you tell!!!" In the voice of the famous Tamar Braxton-Herbert.  There is no way that you can love someone and never have an angry moment. I have to admit my husband and I have been married close to forty years and while we have not had many blow ups we have had a few.

Disagreements is part of life. They will happen. A married couple should expect them because you can't always be on the same page on everything. So if we expect this to happen then we must put a solution in place when anger comes between the couple. First we must be honest with each other. Many arguments begin because one or both of the spouses are angry. They might not let the other one know that and before you know it they are  fighting over how to crack and egg. The problem was not the egg issue but the anger over something that was not conveyed to the other. 

When you are honest with your spouse about what has caused you to be upset then you open the door to a sound conversation and allow the love to replace the anger. Next you have to remember that anger will go away but the love won't. Your marriage is more than just an angry moment and so always look at the bottom line and that is the loved shared between the couple.

Agree to disagree and then go into neutral corners. Just like a prize fighter when the bell is rung the opponents move to a place away from each other. This is something that must be done so that each spouse can think about what's going on. During that alone time don't think about what's making you angry but look at the total problem. Attempt to look at both sides. Take your emotions out of it. Both spouses should separate for at least one hour. The first half an hour to calm down and the next half to think about your actions and your love. Plan to come together after the hour and converse calmly. If you still disagree then leave it alone for now and kiss and make up. Bottom line is the love. Pray together that a sound solution can be reached and no further problems come from that angry moment.

Learn to speak using your "I" words and never push blame on the other by using "you" words. Explain yourself from your own perspective. You can not speak for your spouse only for yourself. You might have heard it different from what has been said. By saying "I thought that ....." You are expressing the way you heard it or interpreted it to mean. This opens the conversation so that your spouse can explain what they were saying and why. Many times it was not meant the way you heard it or felt it. 

Don't go to bed angry. Remember to clear up the problem even if you have to pray on it to have a solution before you go to bed. You have to leave it alone and move on to the next level. When this is done then harmony and peace will remain in your marriage and before you know it the love is stronger than before.

If it appears that you are always angry at each other or arguing then you need to have an intervention with a Christian counselor, your pastor, or a marriage mentor. If you don't have any of these people to talk to then get with an older married couple who can offer some wisdom and insight. Join your marriage ministry group at church. Get with us here on the net and send us your questions and concerns. 

Last but not least learn how to say "I'm sorry" and "I made a mistake"..."Will you forgive me". Sometimes that's all it takes to fix the problem. However don't just say the words but mean it and provide change with your actions. Always remember that you love this person and have vowed to spend the rest of your life with him/her. 

As you grow in marriage remember that there will be times when you disagree. Once that happens then put your plan into action to solve the problem or problems and get back to the business of loving each other. Make sure God is the head of your marriage and seek Him first and then follow his leads. Never speak bad about your spouse to others because anger is short lived and you will be back together before you know it. You don't want your small marital problems to be the source of the next Facebook gossip. 

As the above picture suggests " Love is caring for people even when you are angry."

Staying in Love is for a Lifetime

People are falling in love everyday. Then you notice that after a short run they are out of love. More and more today I'm hearing couples who have been married less than three years announce that they are no longer in love. This made me wonder why? After all of the hoopla over the wedding and the honeymoon then the first year of marital bliss the real life marriage begins. This is the time when the gloves come off and the true face is shown. 

This is the time that the couple should dig in and become determined to grow their love and relationship. A lasting love takes work, time and patience on the parts of both spouses. The marriage will go through many seasons of change. During those changes the couple will experience different degrees of their love. There will be times when the couple might look at each other and just not feel that loving feeling.

Its during those times that the couple must choose to love one another and push their marriage to another level. People fall in love everyday for many reasons. We see it on TV and in the movies where people meet and then before they know it they are in love, in bed, and standing before the preacher. They have a crazy relationship and end up separated or divorce. Its funny and we think that this is the way love really is. You fall in, have fun, and when it gets rough you move on.

This is not love or a base for a long life with the love of your life. Everyday from the moment you become one you must pray over your marriage. Set your mind to work on keeping your marriage healthy and choose to love no matter what. As the couple in the above picture shows us staying in love is oh so special. This is what God ordained marriage to be and all marital couples should set staying in love as their marital goal. To love one another by any means necessary is ok but to love each other with God as your center will allow for that goal of staying in love for a lifetime.

What is Love?

What is Love?

This question has been asked so many times. Each time its asked you get a different answer. We have looked at love from the bible's point of view and we have looked at love from the world's point to view. From what I can see is that Love is the creator and like God love is pure, kind, and true. 

In marriage love is the glue that seals the relationship but it's not the only thing that keeps the relationship growing. Love in its purest form in a marriage is selfless. Wanting nothing but to please the other person. While this is great it appears to be one sided and true love will never allow another to be placed in a situation that is so one sided that everything is flowing out and nothing is coming in.

On our wedding day we just focus in on the surface of love. We have that all time feel of how love makes you feel vs. how lasting is love once trouble begins. With marriage love is a daily choice. It has nothing to do with feelings. It has to do with caring enough for another that you are willing to let certain things go. You are able to decide that while you may not feel it you still love anyway. 

When I think of love not only do I refer to the scripture in Corinthians but I look at the true source of love. That is God. He is love. Pure and simple. He never has to love us but He does no matter what we do or don't do. By His example we too have to love our spouses in the same way. We must love them even when we don't like them. We must love them when they prove themselves unloving for a moment or two. We must love them when they are not showing us love. When we do this in our marriage then our foundation becomes stronger and love grows. 

That seal that will keep the couple united for the course of their lifetime. So in answer to our original question "What is love?" I can only answer that love is God and His ways and examples. When we love His way there is no doubt that we will love for a lifetime.    

From This Day Forward

Love at its best

From this day forward, I make a promise whatever happens you shall not walk alone. I’ll stand by your side, and sleep in your arms. I’ll be the joy in your heart and the food for your soul. I will bring out the best in you always, to be the best I can be, just for you, to celebrate with you in the good times, to struggle with you in the bad. Always your love, always your best friend. 

The above paragraph is the beginning of the wedding vows that I sometime use when I'm officiating. In fact during the last wedding the couple chose this one. As I was saying it and having the couple repeat it I like to watch their faces. In nine times out of ten both begin to cry at this point. I have to fight back the tears so I can continue with the rest of the ceremony myself in most cases.

I have the couple repeat after me together as I'm saying this part of their vows. They are facing each other and speaking to one another as their love ones look on. It's a way for them to make their wedding vows more practical yet loving before they go into their individual ones. As I listened to the last couple I looked over at my own husband. He acts as my assistant during the many ceremonies. He smiled at me and we both knew that this opening had great memories for us as well.

Then their words resonated into my ears and heart and once the wedding was over my husband and I sat in the car and talked about the meaning of those words.We focused on the intimacy of the vows. As it opened with "from this day forward". Just the opening offered changed for any couple. It states that a promise will be made on the day of their wedding. One that you don't plan to break. It breaks down what the promise is...that they will never walk alone. They are promising each other to be there so that as a couple neither will have to worry about being left by themselves.

Each one has determined certain things such as:

Standing by each other's side

Sleeping in each other's arms

Being the joy in each other's hearts

The food for each other's soul

From there each couple vows and promise to bring out the best in each other always and to allow their partner to bring out the best in them. They promise each other and God before all who loves them that they would celebrate together in the good seasons and struggle together during the bad seasons always united in marital love. Then in the end just going back to the wonderful joy of real deep committed love. However not just intimate romantic love but love of two friends and lovers.

As we sat looking at the beautiful garden that the wedding took place and saw the joys as the couple celebrated their union, we smiled and recommitted our love for one another. Those words still meant a lot to each of us. That when we stood in front of our officiant and friends so many years ago that we wanted to always be each others lover and each others best friend. 

Sometimes just go back and revisit the vows that you made on your wedding day. Remember the love then and look at the love now. In our case while that day was so great and I know how much I loved him then.....now after over 30 years I know that I love him even more now. Because now we have seen the promises made come full circle. We have laid in each other's arms. We have not been alone since we became one. We have been the joy and food for each other during good times and bad. We have struggled together.

We have praised together and we have laughed together. Then in the end of it all we have been each others best friend. Seeing, that our love was protected and sheltered from harm. We have been intimate with each other on all levels of intimacy and no matter what we want the best for the other. 

So in the end we begin with open promises but we end up with those promises and vows coming to life. Marriage is more than a piece of paper. More than a cause. More than just material and lawful benefits. Marriage is a celebration of a lifetime relationship of unity between the couple and God. The one who formed the union in the first place. Take time to see your love at the beginning of your marriage and now just to see where you are in the whole scheme of marital love.

All we can say is that: From this day forward.....true love has no expiration date!!!   

Where Do We Draw the Line as Christians

Where do we as Christians
 draw the line?

Colo. gay discrimination alleged over wedding cake Colo. gay couple files discrimination complaint alleging baker denied them wedding cake via Yahoo News

When will enough be enough? According to this article this male gay couple wants to get married and went  to this bakery and wanted to have a wedding cake made. The owner does not believe in same sex marriage and refused their services. The couple is now taking the owner to court for refusing to do their wedding cake citing discrimination. So my question is what is your take on the matter?

Personally I stand by the word of God where marriage is concern. As an officiant I have had several same sex couples attempt to obtain our service I have declined because I have to stand on God's Word. I'm bound by my beliefs. Since I am bound by this then it does not mean that I hate the couple or don't like them or what they are doing. However just as they have the right of choice then so do I. 

Where I find problems with these same sex couples is their attempt to want their rights understood and pushed regardless of everyone else's. People have the right to pick and choose. As a store owner you can refuse services that you don't want to take. To push this cake issue is too much when you can go somewhere else and have the cake of your dreams done in the way that you want. Your wedding day should be the best ever. 

You should have the day that you dreamed of. Why force someone to do something that they don't believe in. Many say it's the same as a black person being refused because they are black, or a Jewish person refused because they are Jewish. I don't see it that way. While we had to fight for our rights we did not attempt to force people to accept us by forcing  them to do something that they were against. I'm all for all people including those who are gay to be treated equally but that does not mean that you force me to go against my religious beliefs or you are going to make me.

The gays that do this are like bullies who feel that they must have their way no matter what. If you don't like it then they will force you to do it. A cake....really .....you want to destroy a person's business for a cake. Or you want to force a place like Chick-fila who states and stands by their religious beliefs because you want them to accept how you feel. That's not right. We are not trying to deny any one from loving. I for one will not judge it's not my place. In the same way I will not force you to do something you don't want to do and expect the same from you. Respect for each other is what is important. 

Now I don't know all of the ends and outs of the case. I don't know if the owner stated to all that his wedding cakes are made only for those who have the same belief. I'm not sure. Or if he said I will do the cake but will not add the same sex topper. I personally feel that the couple should go to a place where their service would be handled in the way that they want and maybe not recommend that bakery to their friends. 

I could be wrong but I am not trying to offend I just feel that we have far too many other problems and concerns that we need to attend to then a wedding cake. So how do you feel about this issue?

What To Do When You Think Your In-laws Hate You

Please buy
 being sold at a discount

Most of the time we see where the spouse has a problem with the in-laws. Most of the time it's the female spouse dealing with the mother of the male spouse. They just don't click and the spouse that is coming into the relationship will automatically have a dislike for the in-law. However this post is talking about when the In-laws really hate the spouse. It could be the male spouse or the female spouse. So we are going to take a look at what you should do when your In-laws just hate you for no real reason. Or for reasons that they might not have addressed to you.

You being the hated spouse have no hard feelings towards your in-laws. In fact you found it most surprising that you have sense this negativity towards you when you have attempted to be the additional child in the new family dynamics. Many times it's not what they have said but what you have perceived. You have mentioned these feelings to your spouse only for him/her to say that it's not true. While your spouse can attempt to smooth things over between you he/she can't dictate how your in-laws actions or words make you feel. 

Some actions that might help when you are preceding this negative actions or comments from your in-laws.

Step One- Open loving communication with your spouse:

Always go directly to your spouse in a serious yet loving way. Tell your spouse your true feelings about how you feel about his family. Remain calm as you converse with him. Be careful not to offend your spouse's family. Use your "I" words. For example instead of saying "Your mother thinks she knows it all and attempts to put me down in a sneaky way in front of you and others." Say it this way: "I feel that some of the comments that your mother says about me in front of others makes me feel as though she is putting me down. It hurts my feelings and I am embarrass." You might want to call her the evil bride of the devil himself but don't do this while speaking to your spouse. That is his/her mother and you would not like anyone speaking bad about your mother or father. If you don't handle the conversation with love then you may open a door that can never be closed again. Pick your time and make sure you are not angry at the time.

Step Two- Apologize, forgive, and forget:

You will have to be the bigger person. You may not feel that you have done anything wrong, but some problem had occurred. Rather than allowing everything that you have had building up inside of you loose simply apologize for whatever role you played in creating the tension. Now this is the hard part you must forgive your in-laws. You must move pass the negativity for the sake of your family. Your spouse will see that you are trying your best and will take a second look at his/her parents. If your spouse see that it's not you then your spouse will come to your aid. 

Step Three- Try to meet their needs:

Open up for dialog. You need to talk with your in-laws to see what it is they want of you or from you. Have your spouse with you when this is done, make an honest attempt. If you find out that there is really something expected and you do it then expect to see things change. If they do not then you know you have attempted and leave it at that. Your spouse will know that you did your best. Some people will just not like you no matter what, but at least you have given it all you have and you can be polite to your in-laws. This will keep your spouse happy and your children. Be Christ like no matter what. Pray for them and one day there will be peace in your marital life. 

As a spouse you want your family to have peace and harmony. You are the only one that can make that happen. If you don't argue and keep hate going then it can't grow. Purpose in your heart even if you have to keep distance that you will not be the cause of friction between your spouse and your family. As  long as you have the Lord leading then your situation will change for your well good and His glory.

Is Reality TV Good For Marriage?

This break-up is a shame and I'm praying for them

I have to make a confession I really like the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Now with that said this season I have to admit that it really got on my last nerve. I'm going to be honest I'm not sure if I will watch it next season. Why? I was just not pleased with what they have shown me about marriage. First of all there are only three ladies that are actually married. So how can you call yourself the Real Housewives? Second the ladies acted like middle school bad girls. The older ladies who have been married or were married treated the youngest married lady really bad. While she was not very knowledgeable and appeared as if she was an airhead she was married and attempting to live the housewife life. She was trying to honor her marriage and what her husband wanted. While I felt that somethings were a bit overboard but then again they had only been married for two years.

The ladies were stating to her that her husband was controlling and that she should be here own woman. While there was some truth to that still that was her marriage and no two marriages are alike. The sad part is that after the season was over it has been stated that the couple are heading for divorce. Could it had been the pressure of the show? She being around the ladies who are all self-made ladies and have a career? Was it because her husband really is controlling and does not want her on the show? Could it had been because the show was just not good for their marriage. 

I don't know the answer to this question but my limited research has shown that on the entire housewife franchise there have been over 13 breakups while the couples have been on these shows. Maybe showing your day to day marriage with its up's and down's for all the world to see may not be the best thing for marriage. I understand wanting to work and to be on the air but if it's going to affect the marriages then is it worth it?

I still feel that while we love to take a peek at these exciting people it's not worth loosing your marriage over it. I'm at fault because I'm one of the ones that will sit there and wait for the show to come on. I could be the part of the group that is causing couples in this high profile to break-up. I am praying for the young couple who I have pictured here that with good Christian counseling and help from their pastor with prayer that they will become the couple that they should be. Two years married is not very long and they need to give it another try and work harder on it. 

Now the last thing I must confess....I'm not sure that I won't be back next season waiting to see the outcome...what can I say I'm only human...lol. Give us your comments on Marriage and the real housewives.

Is My Spouse my Real Soul Mate?

Have you ever looked at your spouse and wondered..."hum is he/she my real soul mate?" I hope not. But if you have or just want to make sure that you have the soul mate created for you by God then it would be great to look at ten tips that will let you know.

 

2R1N CHRIST has been blessed to have an association with a lovely couple who's ministry is leading singles to their soul mate. I love their dedication to the work that God had entrusted them with and just wanted to share some of the tips that they have developed. 

 

With that said I present: Ten Ways to Know if you have met (or married in our case) your soul mate  by Petula & Dexter Jones from their book SOUL MATE OR JUST ANOTHER DATE....Dexter L. Jones

According to the Jones:

1. Know yourself and know what type of characteristics, traits and personality you want in a soul mate and don't deviate and accept less than what you know you are satisfied with. Does that person match that?

Since most of us on 2r1n Christ are already married then you know already if your spouse fits you or not. I can say without a doubt that my husband is right there for me. Many of us did not go into marriage wondering if your spouse was the one. Now if you are having problems with character, traits and personality then you are a unit now and building your marriage on Jesus. Commit to rededicating your lives and marriage to God and ask Him to form any imperfections that you find in each other. Seek a Christian counselor or your pastor for help.

2. Do you have a witness and peace in your spirit and heart about this individual in your life? If you do not then slow it down and make sure that you are led of the Spirit.

I can say that I knew without a doubt that I was brought to him as his mate for life. I really had a very strong witness from the Holy Spirit. You should know this by now. As you grow closer together in God He will take any doubts that might come up about coming together away. But  as you read these in hindsight you can see that yes indeed you are with your soulmate.

3. The two of you seem to naturally flow together, there is a great spiritual and soul (mental ) connection between the two of you.

Being married to my best friend we have connected in every way. The good thing is that so far I know that most of the couples reading this knows that they are with their soul mates.

4. To look at this person is like looking at an image of you.

Yes I can see that and its good to know that your spouse mirrors you on the inside.

5. When you've met your soul mate the two of you will display the utmost honesty and support for one another and this person will make you (the female) feel beautiful and satisfied? This person will make you (the male) feel like you're very worthy and able to accomplish anything.

I can just hear all of my married couples yelling now "I did it right I'm with my soul mate."

6. With your soul mate it's like you've known this person for a longtime even though the time has been brief.

Remember that this is set up for a single person. You know this already and when you think back on it you will remember what you felt when you met. I would look at my now husband then friend and think I want to sit across from him always. I felt as if we had always been right from the very start.

7. Your soul mate and you are very harmonious and can work well together.

We can understand that nothing is trouble free but when you are with your spouse and you are for the most part working together and in harmony with each other 9times out of 10 you are with your soulmate.

8. Both of you are very supportive of one another and desire to see growth in each other in every area of life.

I can just see all of my married couples jumping for joy. Looking at each other knowing that without any doubts in your mind that you are with your soulmate.

9. Your soul mate accepts you for you; they're not in the business of trying to change you. They're like a best friend.

Its time for the praise dance. You have landed your soul mate and now the two of you are one.

10. Your soul mate adores the time they have with you and aren't afraid to make a commitment to you.

You will never have to wonder if your spouse is your soul mate or not. You are with that person.

 

While this should be a study that one should have been a part of before marriage it doesn't hurt the married couple to stop and remember when. I for one have enjoyed looking back over our beginnings and to look at where we are now. Knowing that you and your spouse are put together for a life time by God will continue to cement your marriage and relationship together for the duration of your lives.

 

  

  

 

My Spouse Bully or Friend

My Spouse
Bully or Friend?

Who would ever think that their spouse could be their bully? As spouses you are suppose to be friends with each other. You are suppose to be together in love and peace. Together you are suppose to share your life for as long as you are blessed to be alive. However how many of us are living daily with a bully. 

I know some of you are thinking that will never be my marriage. My spouse loves me and will never attempt to push me around. Many times when a spouse is a bully the other spouse is not aware of it. The spouse that does the bullying will demand their own way the majority of the times but will do it in such a way that the spouse that's being bullied will just see it as his or her right. For example: you are watching something on TV that you have been waiting for all week. You are enjoying the program and then during the commercial break you go and get you a drink. When you come back your spouse has turned the station to the game. 

You say "dear I was watching my show I've been waiting all week to see it. Please turn it back." He looks at you and simple states that the game is on and that he always watches the game on that TV. You pick up your popcorn and drink and go upstairs to the bedroom to watch the show that you have been waiting to see. When you get up there you find out that he is recording another show. You come back down and state that you have been wanting to see this show all week and now not only has he turned it from the main TV he is recording on the only other TV in the house. He doesn't care and continue with his game and will not stop the recording.

You missed your show because he will not give up what he wants and thinks nothing of it. You are so use to giving in that you just accept it and either watch the game with him or do something else. This example is speaking about the male spouse this can also happen with the female spouse as well. The husband may want to go out with his friends for a game of basketball. He won't go because every time he wants to do something it will be a big argument. The husband is made to feel guilty because he may want some time bonding with his male friends. However when the wife wants to go shopping with her girlfriends then nothing is to be said. 

This is selfishness and a form of bullying. When we look up the word bullying it is defined as the following: Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants. To be a marital bully does not mean that you have to put your hands on the other spouse or is verbally rude. It could just be forcing the other spouse to give into your wishes when they would rather do otherwise but goes along with your forcefulness. This is not the way a spouse should act. Many times the bully in the relationship may not realize that is what he or she is doing.

They have been so use to getting what they want that they can't see that their actions are not in unity with the ways of a Godly union. We have to take control of our actions. We must remember that its no longer just about our own personal wants. Many times one spouse will ask for expensive gifts or toys. They may want a motorcycle,or race car. They may want a designer purse or shoes worth more than both of your paychecks put together. The bully will keep pushing until they get what they want. Once they get the latest want or toy they use it once and then never again. Nevertheless the payments on the toy is still coming out of the joint account.

This places strain on the marriage and then one day the bullied spouse may wake up and feel used or abused.He or she does not feel that you are treating them like a friend. They feel like they are always giving and never getting anything in return. Lets look at the definition of a friend. A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations. So what we need to look at in marriage is that we need to look at our spouse as a friend. We have to treat them in brotherly love. 

We have to share mutual affection and develop a bond that does not include sexual intimacy or a sense of family. We have to treat each other with respect. We don't push our way on our spouse just because we can. We must consider each other's feelings, needs and wants. It's not fair to always want expensive things when the house needs other things. It's not fair to hog all of the TV's or the best one when your spouse has been looking at it first. One spouse should not always state what can be watched on the TV, or what movie they will go to the theater to see. If one spouse gets to pick what should be eaten in the house or where they must go every time they go out then that spouse is using a form of bullying.

Marriage is a union. Your spouse should be your best friend and true friends try to please each other. True friends love you no matter what is going on or how you act. They are able to tell you about yourself in a loving way and you still know that they care. They are there for you and at times allow you to have your way as you allow them to have theirs. Your spouse has an even bigger role. Your spouse is your mate, lover, lifetime partner, and your best friend. Your mate is your gift from God and must be treated in a gentle and holy way. 

Remember that marriage is a forward moving work in motion. You must always look for ways to improve our relationship with each other. Check your actions. Look to see if you are acting like a friend or a bully. Watch how your spouse responds to you. If you are the spouse who sees that bullying maybe going on then stop right then and there and talk to your spouse. Let him or her know how you feel. Use "I" words so that its understood that this is how you see it and how you feel. If you are the one doing the bullying then listen and then look at yourself, your motives, and actions from your spouse point of view and make changes. 

If its to the point where intervention is needed then go to your pastor, marriage mentor or ministry, or Christian counselor. If you find yourself doing this then let your spouse know that you love them and then find ways that will make him/her know that they are loved and that their needs are important to you. The union of marriage is a covenant relationship and God is the center of that relationship. If you have doubts about your action then turn to your bible and read what God has to say about how a couple should live in holy matrimony. 

Morning Joy

Nothing like love in the morning

God has given the married couple a beautiful gift in that we can wake up every morning with the love of our life. We can open our eyes and see love laying right beside us and just give God thanks. This new year our Lord wants us to focus on the beauty of our union. As married couples we need to celebrate this awesome gift. One of the ways that we have rediscovered this year is our morning intimate sessions. 

The first thing that comes to mind when I mention this is our physical intimacy. While that is at the top of the list and I must admit is a highlight first thing in the morning (wink, wink) it's not the only form of intimate joy in the morning. In this new season of marital romance we have found that its the other forms of marital intimacy that adds to the physical. Its those added inclusions of intimacy that allows you to reach that peak of joy first thing in the morning.

As spouses we need to wake up and just look at each other. Together joining hands and giving thanks to God for providing us with each other. This will open up our intimacy door. When we begin with spiritual intimacy it's the beginning of that internal fire to begin. One of the biggest turn on's that I have found first thing in the morning is to wake up at 3am and see my husband reading, studying and praying with the bible. It is so dear to my heart and just allows me to submit as a lovely flower opens up its petals. Many times this act of intimacy will lead to a discussion of how we love each other.

How we view our life as we embrace our love for God and each other. This spiritual intimacy in the early morning hours when the dawn has not broken yet but you feel the morning energy allows the married couple to move to the next form of intimacy. From that spiritual point its easy to move into the intellectual and social where we begin to speak into each other's being and remember different past events that brought us closer. We begin to dream again and enjoy being one together in everyday. 

We move into the intimacy of being friends with each other allowing this mood to let us drift into a hazy morning of just pure joy. Enjoying each other at this point with even touching each other. As we move on up the intimacy ladder we naturally  move to the physical. However the physical is different. Deeper, giving, and unselfish. You want to reach that level of joy that you have been blessed to have with each other. You discover that every part of the intimacy ladder in those early morning hours bring you closer to heaven then you have ever been.

Early morning joy is a must for every married couple. During every season of the marital relationship. Try to bring in all elements of real intimacy. Enjoy each other as you take a slow walk down lovers land first thing in the morning before daybreak. Come together in this most intimate way and then lay together in each other's arms as you both watch the sun rise to the beginning of another new day. 

Remember Joy comes with the morning!!!