Morning Joy

Nothing like love in the morning

God has given the married couple a beautiful gift in that we can wake up every morning with the love of our life. We can open our eyes and see love laying right beside us and just give God thanks. This new year our Lord wants us to focus on the beauty of our union. As married couples we need to celebrate this awesome gift. One of the ways that we have rediscovered this year is our morning intimate sessions. 

The first thing that comes to mind when I mention this is our physical intimacy. While that is at the top of the list and I must admit is a highlight first thing in the morning (wink, wink) it's not the only form of intimate joy in the morning. In this new season of marital romance we have found that its the other forms of marital intimacy that adds to the physical. Its those added inclusions of intimacy that allows you to reach that peak of joy first thing in the morning.

As spouses we need to wake up and just look at each other. Together joining hands and giving thanks to God for providing us with each other. This will open up our intimacy door. When we begin with spiritual intimacy it's the beginning of that internal fire to begin. One of the biggest turn on's that I have found first thing in the morning is to wake up at 3am and see my husband reading, studying and praying with the bible. It is so dear to my heart and just allows me to submit as a lovely flower opens up its petals. Many times this act of intimacy will lead to a discussion of how we love each other.

How we view our life as we embrace our love for God and each other. This spiritual intimacy in the early morning hours when the dawn has not broken yet but you feel the morning energy allows the married couple to move to the next form of intimacy. From that spiritual point its easy to move into the intellectual and social where we begin to speak into each other's being and remember different past events that brought us closer. We begin to dream again and enjoy being one together in everyday. 

We move into the intimacy of being friends with each other allowing this mood to let us drift into a hazy morning of just pure joy. Enjoying each other at this point with even touching each other. As we move on up the intimacy ladder we naturally  move to the physical. However the physical is different. Deeper, giving, and unselfish. You want to reach that level of joy that you have been blessed to have with each other. You discover that every part of the intimacy ladder in those early morning hours bring you closer to heaven then you have ever been.

Early morning joy is a must for every married couple. During every season of the marital relationship. Try to bring in all elements of real intimacy. Enjoy each other as you take a slow walk down lovers land first thing in the morning before daybreak. Come together in this most intimate way and then lay together in each other's arms as you both watch the sun rise to the beginning of another new day. 

Remember Joy comes with the morning!!! 

Facebook and Marriage

Facebook can be a great tool when
we remember to use it to edify each other

Do you think that posting about your marriage on Facebook is a good thing or a bad idea? While I feel that it's a great arena for positive encouragement, mentoring and teaching I find that many use it to brag or provide a false image of their union to make the world think that they are happy when they are not. 

I don't think its good to post on Facebook about what's going on in your household. We don't need to know if your husband brought you a new this or that. We don't need to know what you fixed for dinner or didn't. We don't need to see pictures of you kissing and looking into each others eyes as if the world was there when you two are fighting in real life. 

If your marriage is a fantasy that's great if that is what you two want. However we don't need to see something fake and think its real. What that does is cause someone who is in a difficult season of marriage or who is not married to want what you have or envy your marriage thinking that something must be wrong with them.

You don't need to use that media to air your dirty laundry either. We don't need to know these things. We need to see something that is real. Something that will edify our marriages and teach us how to live and love each other as God created marriage to be. Many times I read some of the post and I know the couple personally. I know that they are having grave martial issues that need a Christian counselor to assist them.

Yet I read the post on Facebook with one or the other couple stating how much they love each other. What a wonderful day they had and how their marriage is so great. They don't need to pretend to the Facebook world that their life is so great nor do they have to talk about how bad it is. What they should be doing instead of posting fake nonsense is communicating with each other and working on solving the real issues in their marriage.

Developing a daily marital life is hard enough that you don't need to have the world peeping into your marriage window. The moment that the truth comes out then you have invited others to put their mouth on your relationship. Many are hoping and praying against your union because you have invited others to look at your perfect martial world and because its fantasy envy sets in then jealousy. 

Your marriage must remain between the two of you and God. As marriage and relationship ministry leaders we have to sometimes open up our union for teaching purposes. We made a deal with each other that certain things would never be exposed to the public even in teaching. We made a vow with God to present our ministry from the truth. We give you the good and the bad along with solutions.

What I'm trying to say is that I'm not against Facebook or social media. I have many true virtual friends. I always attempt to give a positive word from God as much as I can. When I do speak about my marriage I do not attempt to make anyone feel slighted because they are not married or their marriage is currently in a difficult season. We as children of God must be mindful of each other and always walk in truth with love. Now do I fall short of this? Of course because I am not The Christ...but I try very hard to do what will help build the body. I know that my assignment is in the area of marriage and relationship and God holds me accountable for falsehood. 

So next time that you just want to brag about your perfect marriage then tell it to your spouse. Don't get on Facebook and let the world know when you really need to only keep such things between your spouse and God. Understand there is nothing wrong with an honest post about something you find great about your mate and your marriage. But make sure its something that's uplifting and would edify the people. 

We don't need to know your everyday as if to say in your face losers because I'm married and perfect and you are not. Remember social media can be a great tool for building the Kingdom of God. Just remember that what you write is there to stay and should be a way to help somebody. 

Hall Pass a Week Off from Marriage

A week off from your marriage
Is it worth it?

I have been watching TV more since I retired. Mostly because I'm home many times alone while my husband still works. Many time the TV is on talking to me. Then there are times that I actually stop and watch all or some parts of a show. Recently I watched part of a show where there were two couples who were married. Since I didn't see it from the beginning I have to assume some of the plot. So what I deduced was that the couples were having some problems or had become complacent or both.

The wives decided that they would give the husbands a week off from marriage. Just like in school when you are allowed to leave the class to do whatever that teacher would give you a hall pass. Which means that you have permission to be out of class for however long that pass allows. What these wives did was to give the husbands a week long hall pass where they could live as if they were never married. The wives took the children and went away. The husbands and the wives could have sex, date, party, or anything that they felt was needed that they were not getting at home with their spouse. 

This movie had me thinking "what would I do if we both decided to have a week off from marriage"? Would I run out looking to be the old single girl that I used to be? Would I run to the night clubs or single in spots to cruise for men? Really after being married for so long what really would I do? Then I thought what would my husband do if given that time without the Godly restraints of marital standards?

I waited until my husband got home and just asked him. The first thing that he said was "you know I don't like questions like this. I don't want to think about life without you not even for a week." I said "oh come on I just want to know. Not that I want this but for the ministry...the ministry!!!" We both laughed and he agreed to answer the question. As I waited to hear what he was going to say now that he had a hall pass to think about having one I noticed that suddenly I really didn't want to know. I didn't want to think that he would want a week off from our marriage.

It seemed like it took him forever to answer the question. Then he sat down and pulled me down with him. He looked into my eyes and spoke softly. Then he just started telling me what he would do if he had a week off from me. This is his week off from marriage hall pass: I would take a nap because I'm tired. Once I wake up then I would fix me something to eat. After that I would watch every sport event on the tube. I would read my bible and do some laundry and then I would get ready for work the next day. After that I would go to bed. The next day I would get up and go wherever you are and bring you home. You see life would not be life for me if you are not there.

I don't need a week off from marriage to run around and find women again. I am so beyond that and I don't desire to see any other face but yours. There is too much work trying to get to know someone else. I already know you and you know me. I married you because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you for better or for worse. I know this is not what you wanted but this is what I had to give.

It was as if I had been holding my breath waiting for his response because all I knew was that I could breath again. I kissed him with a passion that suddenly rekindled from deep within and believe me we had a great evening (wink wink).

He asked me later on what I would do if he gave me a week off from marriage and I laughed and said that I would do the same thing that he did minus doing the laundry...ha,ha,ha. You see marriage is the highlight of our life. There is nothing out there that I want we have it all inside our own world.

God created us to be social creatures we want to be with someone and grow together. No one said marriage would be easy but as you travel down the road of marital bliss you evolve to another level. As you manage the many seasons of marriage you find that your marriage changes and grows. Before you know it your marriage does not look the same as it did when you first started your marital life. There is no way I would want to go back to the beginning or to the way we were when we were a couple dating each other. 

While we still date in our marriage its not the same. We know each other. We know what each other likes and we don't like. We know how to compromise for the better of the marriage. We love each other but we now know that love is not just physical or emotional. We know that as lovers we have to choose to love each other no matter what. We also know that we must like each other. That other than Lord Jesus we are each others best friends and we must treat each other as we would treat a best friend. 

I could not imagine at this age going back on the single scene. I wouldn't have a clue and wouldn't want to learn what to do. I would just be a servant for the Lord for the rest of my life then to be out looking for love in that way. I am so happy that at 38 years of marriage I am with the love of my life and my friend that can make me laugh in an instant. I was glad that I watched the end of the this movie because it did give me something like this to think about.

I so love how God created us to be in this marital union. As we unite with Him and place Him as the Head of our marital union then we grow like a mighty maple tree. Tall strong with many branches and leaves that grow and change during different seasons. As I think about it now I was not one of those students who wanted to get a hall pass to get out of class. I actually liked being in the classroom learning just like I like being in the confines  of marriage learning to grow for our lifetime. 

There should not be any free hall passes in marriage. Each marriage is different. We all create our lives together that would better the couple that we are and the family that we would one day become or have become. Marriage God's way will guide us through the rough times and celebrate with us during the good times. I can surely say that I'm a better person since I've been with my husband all these years and he states that he feels the same way. That does not mean that we are not strong individuals but our marriage helps our individual selves.

So I guess you are wondering what happened with the movie hall pass. Well the husbands and wives realized that they were too old and happy after all in their relationship. While they found the scenario exciting in the beginning the freedom to go out and just do whatever they thought they were missing got old. They soon found out that they really didn't want that and wanted to be with their spouses. See even in fiction the bottom line is being with the one you have vowed to love through thick and thin is better than running around and having freedom to play. Playing is not something you want to do even for a week. If you want to play its better to play with someone that knows how to play well with you.

Now I give you that very question. If you were given a hall pass from your marriage to do whatever you wanted for a week would you one take it and two what would you do. Write us and let us know.  

When Separation Is Good

I never thought I would have to wonder about this subject when it came to my marriage. We have been closely together for over 30 years and really we are closer to 40 years than we are 30. We have always been together. In fact we never really thought about not being with one another.Until now. Recently after all of these years of togetherness we found out that we would have to live apart.

This turn of events came on as a shock. While it was a good shock because my husband had been promoted and part of the promotion was that he would have to live where he worked for months at a time it didn't dawn on us that we had not ever been separated. This got me to thinking. When in marriage is separation a good thing?

We all know that when a marriage is in trouble one of the first things that a couple will result to is separation. While this can be a very hurtful time it can also be a good time. What separation does is allow the couple to explore individually how they feel about their spouse. Its the old saying of you never miss your water until your well runs dry. While it might sound corny it is very true. 

It was not until my husband left that I found that things I once did on my own without thinking I had begun to relay on him to do. Simple things that you take for granted. Such as taking out the trash on trash day. I haven't had to do that for over 30 years. Filling up my gas tank in my car every week. I know pitiful. Or how about sleeping in the bed alone at night? I can't really remember when he was not there beside me.

I thought for a second it would be so good to have the bed to myself. This only lasted for about a day or two. I missed him. I missed just laughing together or talking about our day. I missed his emails and text message saying he was up the street and did I want something. Or him bringing me home a Slurpee. 

When we talked on the phone I asked him what did he miss about me? He said that he missed my silly jokes that made him laugh because they didn't make sense. He missed me looking after him and coming home from work and seeing me there. He missed all the conversations that we seemed to have and he missed cuddling at night and going to sleep. 

For so many years this was a given and now with the separation we have time to reflect on just how much we mean to each other. I discovered that sometimes separation is good in a marriage. While its a great time to analyze your feelings about your spouse you also get to miss them. You realize that the grass is not greener in another's yard. You get to look at yourself and want to improve who you are so that you will be a better spouse once you are back together.

When your marriage has hit a rocky spot some times separation can act as a time out. During that time it allows both spouses time to dig deep within and see if the marriage is worth working on. If you have hit this period in your life then during the spousal separation period seek spiritual help. Talk to a Christian counselor or your pastor. Encourage your spouse to do the same. If there is no other recourse but to separate for good then attempt to separate in a cordial and Christian way. This however should be the last result unless one spouse is abusive or actively commenting adultery.

Or if a spouse refuses to work and help support the home and family. This spouse may need some time apart to understand his or her role in the family. However if you find yourself like us and separated for a time then take advantage of this time. Give God thanks for all of the little things that your spouse does for you. Then let your spouse know how grateful you are for them doing these things.

While the two of you are separated send your spouse a letter via the mail (you know that old fashion way we use to send mail) telling your spouse how much you love and appreciate them. Them when you see each other bring the universal gift of love "one red rose". This will tell your spouse that you still love him/her and that you miss and appreciate them.

All in all I do feel that separation in a marriage is very healthy and sometimes so needed.Even in an old stable marriage. 

Am I the only one who does not understand Polyamory?

You, Me, and There's More?

Now that I'm retired I have gone back to my up all night ways. I am a natural night person. I become more creative at night so I'm up at night working on ministry, business or my great American novel....yea the last one is a laugh. 

As I find myself up and my husband is asleep I turn on the TV just to have background sound. I have watched or should I say listened to some great cable shows and movies. I do like reality shows that have something to do with life, ministry, love, or business. I like to see people go after their dreams and set out to do the impossible. This motivates me at this vintage age to live my life the way I've always wanted to. OK enough about me but I do have a point to make so please just stick with me. 

So as I heard what was coming on next on one of these stations I heard that the next show would be taking about marriage and dating. Being me I got excited. How I love married couples dating each other each week or more. So I wanted to see what it was all about. The show was called "Polyamory marriage and dating". For those that know about polyamory I can hear you laughing at me now. To my surprise this was not the show that I thought it would be at all. In fact I stopped what I was doing when I realized what was going on and stared with my mouth open. I could not watch it all but I did get enough of it.

Things are worse than I thought where marriage as God has created it to be. People have decided that what God created is not good enough. They are saying that He (God) created something that needs to change with the changing times. That we as Christians must adapt and allow people to love as they choose to. I have no problems with them loving whomever. What I do have a problem with when they attempt to make my Lord appear outdated. That what He deemed orderly and correct is not. That a human creature can do better than the creator.

So what was the show about. I will tell you right now it had nothing to do with marriage and dating your husband. The definition of "Polyamory" is Poly= many or several (Greek root). Amor= love (Latin root). So polyamory means many or several loves. The show focused on two polyamory relationship. One group were considered a tirade which consisted of a legal married couple male and female who were engaged and living with another female who was going to be married (and I use the term loosely) to both and she considered herself the girlfriend of both of them.

They lived in the same home and slept in the same bed. Where everyone had sex with everyone. The married couple were sharing their wedding anniversary and stated that sometimes it was hard for them to be together and have alone time. The second group consisted of a legal married couple male and female. Who invited their love couple (who were married to each other) to move in with them and had a group marriage. Along with the original couple the wife has a outside girlfriend that she is not ready to share with the rest of the polygamous family. 

Honestly I can't tell you anymore than that because I turned. It didn't make any sense to me. What the couples were saying to prove their lifestyle was that monogamy caused people to be unstable and have the tendency and desire to cheat. It offered them the temptation to be dishonest. However polyamory was based on truth. You could have a relationship with anyone in the family group. You were married to everyone in the group.

They went so far as to have these so called commitment ceremonies that united the group as husbands and wives. They stated that the practice, desires, are acceptance of having more than one loving intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. They stated that it is distinct from swinging which emphasizes sex with others as merely recreational. Or  from polysexuality which is attraction towards multiples genders and or sexes. What really got to me was the fact that both of the legally married couples stated in a round about way that there was some jealousy and no real privacy. 

Really guys am I the only one appalled with this lifestyle parading as a marriage? Not only that on TV for all to see and think that this was a real and true way of life and marriage. For them to say that this is what marriage should be. To allow people to come up with any and everything and push it on us as marriage. Then march for their rights to have this foolishness called marriage. 

People we are in bad shape. No wonder God is calling us out on marriage as an issue. Our Lord is counting on us to live a moral life. If marriage is destroyed then the family as a whole breaks down. We wonder why America is falling. Our core is breaking. We are so busy being politically correct that we are no longer Godly correct. If we that know how things should be don't stand up for what is right our children and our children's children and their children will have nothing solid to fall back on. This polyamory life style does not make sense.

If you look at what they are doing and saying then you can see that those in this situation have problems. The wife that had the couple living with them and the outside girl friend who by the way was married was jealous of her husband having a relationship with her girlfriend yet they say that this lifestyle produced honesty. A union such as marriage can not grow properly when you include more people in the mix. Those of us that are married know that its difficult to say the least to work hard on the marriage daily to allow it to grow. 

We would tell you without Jesus we would not make it. If we didn't have Him as our rock then we would not remain together or move forward. In this polyarmoy union with the married couple and the two other people plus outside girlfriend had children. I didn't watch the show long enough to see the interaction they had with the children. What I saw was the main wife telling the child that the couple would be living with them soon. 

I also saw that there were problems between the main wife and the new woman moving in with her mate living in the home. This woman did not feel comfortable in the home because the main wife set all the rules and the other woman in the union stated that she felt like she was back home living with parents asking for permission. None of it made sense and maybe if I watched the show to the end I would have received a better form of knowledge to why this form of  "marriage" should be allowed or considered as standard. 

But alas I could not watch this mess another second and just sat there with my mouth opened and wanted to understand the thinking for putting this reality show on the air for anyone to watch. I have often stated that marriage as God created it was on the attack and now my eyes are wide open and I see it as a horrible attack from the enemy of God to upset the apple cart and destroy all that is good and moral.

You might think that I'm coming down hard on this lifestyle and I'm sorry I am. I can only see our nucleus being destroyed the foundation of the family. I can only see destruction of all things that are good and holy. We who know the truth and follow God's word and laws we must work on our marriage. We must study to show ourselves approved so that we can teach the children. So that we won't enter into marriage without proper knowledge and once married we will know how to keep it growing and united. 

All I could see from this program and lifestyle is "Lust". Lust will never make a marriage. It is not the glue needed to build a lifetime on. Marriage must have that Godly cord as the foundation to stabilize the union. He should be the head of the union and the guide of the relationship. He should be the one you turn to. Not the TV or news media or the politically correct people. 

I would love for every man and woman to be happy. You will not find that from things without but from the God that's within. He will guide you to all truth. When you have a marriage His way then it will last forever. Sorry guys I see now we can't put our heads in the sand and pretend. We have to learn and lead by His example we owe it to the generations to follow how marriage is suppose to be. 

As always leave your comments tell me what you think about this new form of  " so called marriage" we welcome your opinion. 

I Hope You Dance

When marriage gets rough
I hope you dance

For those who have kept up with our ministry over the few years we have been here should know by now our love story. If you don't I will give you a little of it. We fell in love on the dance floor. I love to dance and my husband does too. We have dance through every season of our marriage. Good ones as well as the difficult ones. Our children were brought up dancing and now our grandchildren dance as well. We would hear music and just jump up and start moving. No one cared if it was good or not. We just moved our bodies to the music and had fun. 

My husband and I were in sync from the very moment he asked me to dance. I knew then that I would like to be with him. So what am I really trying to say here I feel you wondering? Marriage like a dance takes time and effort to run smoothly. For some the moment you meet you just naturally are able to follow the dance that is being written. You know that you are meant and you take that step to become one and you just blend. You learn the marriage dance from the very beginning and move forward. 

That's not to say that those couples don't make a wrong step in the dance or are off key. It just means that they can easily move together in the dance of love, commitment, and marital intimacy. What it means is that this couple knows how to follow each other during the dancing process. They know that at different times in marriage one might lead while the other follows. This does not make either of them better it just means that at that time the one leading knows what's needed to accomplish the goals during the phase of their marriage. While the one following is there for support and encouragement.

This phase of the marriage dance for some maybe extremely hard. Instead of following the steps together that will allow them to move on to other phases of the marriage dance they fight for leadership and the dance becomes difficult and awkward. Once they get out of step or cannot figure out the pattern of the marriage dance just like real dancing they appear less cohesive and everyone can see their flaws. 

Sometimes that very couple may not know that they are dancing out of step. They continue with their struggle for leadership of the marital dance. If neither want to yield to the other in order to get the dance steps right then the dance of marriage is a disaster and then that couple needs to seek a dance instructor. That instructor just like a real dance instructor knows the dance and can help you as a couple get back to the real act of the marital dance. 

You will learn the proper dance and begin to enjoy each other as you dance the real dance of marital love. As time goes on as a couple you learn to blend together. During your troubles as with the act of physical dancing you have to take your time and work together to get the steps right. The same thing with the marital dance. You have to work through times of adversity and work together as you learn that marital dance step. Then before you know it you can dance together without looking at each other.

You can dance the marriage dance with ease. Ever watched a couple who has been married for a while dancing together? They seem to be enjoying themselves. They are dancing together with ease. They know their moves. They don't care who's watching. They dance until they can't anymore but while they are doing it they are having fun. If one or both of them miss a step then they will start laughing and keep going.  From their very dance moves you can see how their marriage has grown and blended together.

This couple has learned each other over the years and are now moving together as one unit. They have weathered the storms of different marital seasons. They have learned who should lead and who should follow. They have learned that mistakes maybe made but it can be corrected. Or they could just laugh and keep going with the dance. Most of all they have learned to get the dance right they must learn the steps from the dance instructor. The one who made up the dance in the first place. 

They have learned that the instructor is God. He is the leader and creator of the marital dance. Only He can teach us how to get the steps right. Only He can guide us as we travel through the seasons of marriage. As we lean on Him He will get us to the place where we can just get up and dance as we keep the faith growing in our marriage.

The dance of marriage God's way is being threaten and only those couples who listen to his voice and follow his dance step will make it to a harmonious end. Marriage as given to us by God is for the life of the couple. We want all couples to learn their very own dance as God directs them. It takes time, effort, togetherness and love to keep your dance moving in a progressive healthy forward movement. 

Take the chance and learn the dance. No matter where your marriage is at the moment its never too late to go back to the dance instructor and learn the steps to save you two. We each have our very own couple dance and once we learn it then we can dance together in love for the rest of our marital lives. 

In the end I pray that as a couple you take heed from the words of this song by Lee Ann Womack. It states the following:

give faith a fighting chance and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

"I hope you dance"!  

Is This All There Is To Marriage

Have you every woke up one morning and looked at your spouse as he/she slept and then thought to yourself "Is this all there is to marriage?" Well I'm here to tell you that this happens more often then you think. It doesn't matter if you have been married for one year or over twenty at some point and time you just wonder if there is more too this relationship then just the everyday boring hum-drum.

You stop and think "Just where is the thrill that use to be there? Why do we do the samething over and over? Was my spouse always this boring? I thought he/she would keep me happy? Many times we enter into marriage with the wrong ideas. During our dating period we had been so close always attempting to please each other. We focused our every effort in pleasing our future mates.

Then for most of us we became engaged and the wedding planning was on. Everything was so exciting and things were moving full force for that dream day that would be all about the both of you. That day comes and its the best day ever. Next comes the honeymoon of the century. While you are on your honeymoon in some exotic place or just away from the norm you fall into this thought that life as a married couple will always be like this. 

Then you start the living process and before you know it you get into a routine. A routine that might not change for the course of your marriage. While you still love each other the the things that got you going are no longer the source of your marital excitement. That's when you have that morning wake up call and wonder if this is it?

So this is where we come in. Every couple at one time or another gets to a state where the old thrills no longer move you the way they use to. But this does not mean that its the end of your marriage. No matter when you suddenly start feeling this way then you have to stop and remember the vows of love that you took on your wedding day. You must remember that the initial fantasy like beginning is just that the beginning.

As you grow together in marriage then you have to grow together as one moving in the same direction building a life to the end of your marital life. That does not mean that you have to do everything together all the time, but what you must do is plan on choosing to love each other for a lifetime. You must meet each season with the reality that it has to offer and then see what the two of you can do to keep the sparks still burning. 

Remember each marital season has a different thrill to offer. Your job as a couple is to look for them together. While in the beginning of your marriage fantasy and physical intimacy was the driving force for the thrill as marriage moves to different seasons then you will see that maybe now sitting and talking is the thrill.Striving to obtain a house. Or building a business is the thrill. Having and rearing children is the thrill. Traveling is the thrill. Doing ministry is the thrill. The point is that there is always a thrill we just have to set in our heart to find it and cultivate it.

Looking over the seasons of my own marriage I see the many changes and the many thrills come and go. I remember when we got married in Hawaii and then stayed there for 3 weeks and honeymooned. We had so many plans and dreams. We didn't want to leave because everything seemed surreal. But soon the dream was over and we found ourselves home starting our life. Before we knew it we had children, a house, many jobs and a routine that just would not quit.

Many times I woke up and looked at my own husband thinking "really is this it?" I knew that I loved him dearly and if that was it then I was willing to give it all I had to keep the thrill flaming in our marriage. The seasons kept changing and our focus kept changing and we kept building until we found ourselves at this stage in our marriage. Before I knew it our new season and thrill went into another direction that brought us back to the thrills we had in the very beginning of our marriage.

We are closer now after over 30 years than we were in the very beginning. We are still building our marriage. Growing it everyday. Would most people think we are boring? Well yes but it works for us. The great part of this season is now I get to do all of the things that I wanted to do while we were away on our honeymoon. 

We must make an effort during every phase of our marriage. We must remember that each marriage is different and personal. Some may feel that boring, same old same old, feeling in the first years of their marriage. While others will feel it after many years of marriage. The thing is it will come and knowing that will keep you from terminating your marriage when it does not have to be.

With each season look for the new source of your thrill. Talk with each other. See where you are in the thrill department. Don't leave it to your spouse make the first step to look at your relationship making the changes that will keep your marriage fresh and healthy. Neither of you are perfect. Nor are either of you always right. Plan to work together. Keep God as the head and the author of the direction that you are going in and follow Him.

Everyday no matter what choose to love your spouse and find the effort to see the new source of the thrill. Before you know it your marriage will always move towards the excitement that keeps you two glued together. Even if that excitement is just sitting and looking at each other. This might be the season for sitting and looking as your thrill source in your marriage.

Never give up on each other. Keep looking for ways to grow and prune out the things that no longer work anymore. Marital health is the key source to keeping that loving feeling burning for a lifetime. Just remember if you are feeling that your spouse is boring maybe he/she is feeling the same about you.

As a married couple keep growing and building together for the life of your marriage.