Happy Marriage Day

2014 let's create a Happy Marriage Day holiday

We just came out of the holiday season so many would think that they don't want to hear about another holiday. I understand but lets take a moment to just look at things. Everyone loves a holiday. It's a time when people come together to just fellowship and have a great time.

With that type of thinking in mind then having a holiday any time you want would be a great way to just enjoy each other. This leads me to look at our marriages in another way. As a couple you can create your very own "happy marriage day". Not your anniversary but a day whenever you need it to celebrate your marriage. It could be a new tradition that you and your spouse creates that will allow the two of you to focus on each other for just a day of marital love.

A time that you choose to make your spouse feel special for just a day. My suggestion would be to just surprise your spouse with this special day every now and then. As a wife this is something that I would love and would make sure that you are thanked in a way that you would be glad that you thought about this day just for me. Likewise ladies your man would be so humbled and thrilled to know that you appreciated him so much that you created a day that was just about him. He would go out of his way to let you know that he loves and appreciates you for making him feel like a king.

This new year do something different create a day whenever you feel like it and call it "Happy Marriage Day". Let your spouse know that you love and appreciate them by inventing a day that's just for them. Now make sure that the day is not your normal anniversary. Remember with "happy marriage day" you can do it one day a year or every month if you want to. Its up to you as to how you want to do it but please just do it. Make marriage unique and special. Nothing like anything thing else.

Marriage God's way is under attack and we need to bring back the love and uniqueness in the sanity of the union. The world can call it anything that they want but God has a special place for this union and so shall we. Begin this year by changing your marriage and placing your union as your number one focus once more. Just think whenever you need a holiday then just give your spouse a "happy marriage day" and enjoy the fellowship.

Let's Fall In Love Each Day

Married couples can fall in love each day

Being married comes with many rewards that most couples overlook. We have been blessed with a lifetime partner. Someone that we can have fun with and do things with for as long as we have life within us. When we approach our marriages with this in mind then there should never be a dull moment. We should embrace the fact that we don't have to be alone. We have someone that will be there to do all the things that we can to do. While we have a joint focus in our everyday living we must likewise have that same type of focus in our togetherness.

When we come together in just fun and relationship before we know it we start to fall deeper in love again. Being together enjoying one another as your partner and friend will deepen the love level that is your base. God blessed us with being together as one for a lifetime. For most that is at least sixty years. Just think what you can do with those years. Yes we have to take time to build the family, home, and business.

However at the same time we must remember to build the love. The more we are together to just being playmates, buddies, and best friends the deep the love grows. In fact you can fall more in love each day. What I have found over the close to forty years of marriage with my spouse is that now after empty nest we have developed a patterned that allows us to just enjoy each other. Each week that passes I've noticed that our love has gotten stronger.

It has dived deeper in the sea of love. No matter how deep it goes down we never drown but bounce up to the surface with more joy and love then we could image that we could ever have. I'm here to tell you this month to keep loving. Everyday provide time for you and your spouse to laugh and play. He/she is your own personal playmate enjoy each other. If you can't play a game then make each other laugh. Laughing is the greatest way to bond and it will keep your love level growing deeper. 

I encourage you this month to seek ways to cause your marriage to reach a deep level of love. For most people we are heading into the season where the weather outside is cold. You want to be in the house cuddling with your best friend. When you do this then you will see the little buds of new love growing. As you keep watering those buds and feeding them then your love will just take off and you will be back to a level of joy that you could not ever thought you could be. Enjoy the life time gift that God has given us. Seek a deeper love each and everyday with just a little bit of fun and joy added to your norm and before you know it you will be deeper in love with one another. 

Christmas Book Sale

This is a direct sale by the author
for the Christmas season
11/28/13-1/6/14

SaBrowny's Book and Publishing Tip

Christmas is coming and everybody would love a nice sale. Here at SaBrowny Rae Books we are offering our paperback copy of Backdoor Tales:Tears of the Serpent and September Love at a great direct author sale discount. Each book will be signed by the author and you will save $5.00 off the original price.

That's right each autographed copy will be on sale for $10.00. This will make a great keepsake and such a wonderful winter read. Contact us via our Facebook Fan page with an inbox and you will receive the pay-pal information. We have discounted the shipping and handling price as well.
The sale runs from 11/28/13-1/6/14

The best gift to give this year is a copy of the written word!

Inbox us at:
www.facebook.com/sabrownyraebooks

I've Been Married for Twenty Years Without One Disagreement

I would like every married couple who has been married for at least one year to sixty years to raise your hand if you have never been angry with each other. I should not see any hands raised. If there are a few all I can say is :"Lies you you tell!!!" In the voice of the famous Tamar Braxton-Herbert.  There is no way that you can love someone and never have an angry moment. I have to admit my husband and I have been married close to forty years and while we have not had many blow ups we have had a few.

Disagreements is part of life. They will happen. A married couple should expect them because you can't always be on the same page on everything. So if we expect this to happen then we must put a solution in place when anger comes between the couple. First we must be honest with each other. Many arguments begin because one or both of the spouses are angry. They might not let the other one know that and before you know it they are  fighting over how to crack and egg. The problem was not the egg issue but the anger over something that was not conveyed to the other. 

When you are honest with your spouse about what has caused you to be upset then you open the door to a sound conversation and allow the love to replace the anger. Next you have to remember that anger will go away but the love won't. Your marriage is more than just an angry moment and so always look at the bottom line and that is the loved shared between the couple.

Agree to disagree and then go into neutral corners. Just like a prize fighter when the bell is rung the opponents move to a place away from each other. This is something that must be done so that each spouse can think about what's going on. During that alone time don't think about what's making you angry but look at the total problem. Attempt to look at both sides. Take your emotions out of it. Both spouses should separate for at least one hour. The first half an hour to calm down and the next half to think about your actions and your love. Plan to come together after the hour and converse calmly. If you still disagree then leave it alone for now and kiss and make up. Bottom line is the love. Pray together that a sound solution can be reached and no further problems come from that angry moment.

Learn to speak using your "I" words and never push blame on the other by using "you" words. Explain yourself from your own perspective. You can not speak for your spouse only for yourself. You might have heard it different from what has been said. By saying "I thought that ....." You are expressing the way you heard it or interpreted it to mean. This opens the conversation so that your spouse can explain what they were saying and why. Many times it was not meant the way you heard it or felt it. 

Don't go to bed angry. Remember to clear up the problem even if you have to pray on it to have a solution before you go to bed. You have to leave it alone and move on to the next level. When this is done then harmony and peace will remain in your marriage and before you know it the love is stronger than before.

If it appears that you are always angry at each other or arguing then you need to have an intervention with a Christian counselor, your pastor, or a marriage mentor. If you don't have any of these people to talk to then get with an older married couple who can offer some wisdom and insight. Join your marriage ministry group at church. Get with us here on the net and send us your questions and concerns. 

Last but not least learn how to say "I'm sorry" and "I made a mistake"..."Will you forgive me". Sometimes that's all it takes to fix the problem. However don't just say the words but mean it and provide change with your actions. Always remember that you love this person and have vowed to spend the rest of your life with him/her. 

As you grow in marriage remember that there will be times when you disagree. Once that happens then put your plan into action to solve the problem or problems and get back to the business of loving each other. Make sure God is the head of your marriage and seek Him first and then follow his leads. Never speak bad about your spouse to others because anger is short lived and you will be back together before you know it. You don't want your small marital problems to be the source of the next Facebook gossip. 

As the above picture suggests " Love is caring for people even when you are angry."

Staying in Love is for a Lifetime

People are falling in love everyday. Then you notice that after a short run they are out of love. More and more today I'm hearing couples who have been married less than three years announce that they are no longer in love. This made me wonder why? After all of the hoopla over the wedding and the honeymoon then the first year of marital bliss the real life marriage begins. This is the time when the gloves come off and the true face is shown. 

This is the time that the couple should dig in and become determined to grow their love and relationship. A lasting love takes work, time and patience on the parts of both spouses. The marriage will go through many seasons of change. During those changes the couple will experience different degrees of their love. There will be times when the couple might look at each other and just not feel that loving feeling.

Its during those times that the couple must choose to love one another and push their marriage to another level. People fall in love everyday for many reasons. We see it on TV and in the movies where people meet and then before they know it they are in love, in bed, and standing before the preacher. They have a crazy relationship and end up separated or divorce. Its funny and we think that this is the way love really is. You fall in, have fun, and when it gets rough you move on.

This is not love or a base for a long life with the love of your life. Everyday from the moment you become one you must pray over your marriage. Set your mind to work on keeping your marriage healthy and choose to love no matter what. As the couple in the above picture shows us staying in love is oh so special. This is what God ordained marriage to be and all marital couples should set staying in love as their marital goal. To love one another by any means necessary is ok but to love each other with God as your center will allow for that goal of staying in love for a lifetime.

What is Love?

What is Love?

This question has been asked so many times. Each time its asked you get a different answer. We have looked at love from the bible's point of view and we have looked at love from the world's point to view. From what I can see is that Love is the creator and like God love is pure, kind, and true. 

In marriage love is the glue that seals the relationship but it's not the only thing that keeps the relationship growing. Love in its purest form in a marriage is selfless. Wanting nothing but to please the other person. While this is great it appears to be one sided and true love will never allow another to be placed in a situation that is so one sided that everything is flowing out and nothing is coming in.

On our wedding day we just focus in on the surface of love. We have that all time feel of how love makes you feel vs. how lasting is love once trouble begins. With marriage love is a daily choice. It has nothing to do with feelings. It has to do with caring enough for another that you are willing to let certain things go. You are able to decide that while you may not feel it you still love anyway. 

When I think of love not only do I refer to the scripture in Corinthians but I look at the true source of love. That is God. He is love. Pure and simple. He never has to love us but He does no matter what we do or don't do. By His example we too have to love our spouses in the same way. We must love them even when we don't like them. We must love them when they prove themselves unloving for a moment or two. We must love them when they are not showing us love. When we do this in our marriage then our foundation becomes stronger and love grows. 

That seal that will keep the couple united for the course of their lifetime. So in answer to our original question "What is love?" I can only answer that love is God and His ways and examples. When we love His way there is no doubt that we will love for a lifetime.    

From This Day Forward

Love at its best

From this day forward, I make a promise whatever happens you shall not walk alone. I’ll stand by your side, and sleep in your arms. I’ll be the joy in your heart and the food for your soul. I will bring out the best in you always, to be the best I can be, just for you, to celebrate with you in the good times, to struggle with you in the bad. Always your love, always your best friend. 

The above paragraph is the beginning of the wedding vows that I sometime use when I'm officiating. In fact during the last wedding the couple chose this one. As I was saying it and having the couple repeat it I like to watch their faces. In nine times out of ten both begin to cry at this point. I have to fight back the tears so I can continue with the rest of the ceremony myself in most cases.

I have the couple repeat after me together as I'm saying this part of their vows. They are facing each other and speaking to one another as their love ones look on. It's a way for them to make their wedding vows more practical yet loving before they go into their individual ones. As I listened to the last couple I looked over at my own husband. He acts as my assistant during the many ceremonies. He smiled at me and we both knew that this opening had great memories for us as well.

Then their words resonated into my ears and heart and once the wedding was over my husband and I sat in the car and talked about the meaning of those words.We focused on the intimacy of the vows. As it opened with "from this day forward". Just the opening offered changed for any couple. It states that a promise will be made on the day of their wedding. One that you don't plan to break. It breaks down what the promise is...that they will never walk alone. They are promising each other to be there so that as a couple neither will have to worry about being left by themselves.

Each one has determined certain things such as:

Standing by each other's side

Sleeping in each other's arms

Being the joy in each other's hearts

The food for each other's soul

From there each couple vows and promise to bring out the best in each other always and to allow their partner to bring out the best in them. They promise each other and God before all who loves them that they would celebrate together in the good seasons and struggle together during the bad seasons always united in marital love. Then in the end just going back to the wonderful joy of real deep committed love. However not just intimate romantic love but love of two friends and lovers.

As we sat looking at the beautiful garden that the wedding took place and saw the joys as the couple celebrated their union, we smiled and recommitted our love for one another. Those words still meant a lot to each of us. That when we stood in front of our officiant and friends so many years ago that we wanted to always be each others lover and each others best friend. 

Sometimes just go back and revisit the vows that you made on your wedding day. Remember the love then and look at the love now. In our case while that day was so great and I know how much I loved him then.....now after over 30 years I know that I love him even more now. Because now we have seen the promises made come full circle. We have laid in each other's arms. We have not been alone since we became one. We have been the joy and food for each other during good times and bad. We have struggled together.

We have praised together and we have laughed together. Then in the end of it all we have been each others best friend. Seeing, that our love was protected and sheltered from harm. We have been intimate with each other on all levels of intimacy and no matter what we want the best for the other. 

So in the end we begin with open promises but we end up with those promises and vows coming to life. Marriage is more than a piece of paper. More than a cause. More than just material and lawful benefits. Marriage is a celebration of a lifetime relationship of unity between the couple and God. The one who formed the union in the first place. Take time to see your love at the beginning of your marriage and now just to see where you are in the whole scheme of marital love.

All we can say is that: From this day forward.....true love has no expiration date!!!