A Marriage of Three

Loving God will keep you loving each other

How in the world can you be a couple in marriage yet have a marriage for three? In fact why would you want to be married and have another person in your marriage? On the surface these are great questions and make a lot of sense. However as a Christian we know that our marriage based on God's creation includes Him. In fact without God as your center than eventually your marriage will fall and die

Who goes into marriage expecting that the union would die? That to me does not make sense. You go into marriage expecting it to last for a lifetime. Having this thought pattern encourages you to seek out ways to keep your marriage healthy and alive. The best and only way to do this is to include that third person. That being God. He is the centered of the union. He is and will guide you as a couple because after all He created the union in the first place. No God no real marriage. With God a lasting faithful marriage. Just that simple.

It is true the closer you as a couple move toward God and His ways the closer you will move toward each other. You have a base to build from. You have solid ground to grow from. You have someone during times of trouble. You have all that you need to live a lifetime with your spouse. Marriage without God is just one big date. In order to become one together you must have God as your cement and your super glue. God will never let you down and he loves the union because its more than just two people joining together. It's the couple joining together with him becoming the family that he created the world to be.

With God as your center the couple can be fruitful in all their ways. They can produce the good fruit and blossom and grow. Even in their old age they are still happy together in love because God is still their guide and their first love. Try God. Make sure that you have a marriage of three so that a three cord string together is stronger. You will need His strength to weather all of the seasons of marriage. Remember marriage God's way is for a lifetime. The only way to achieve this is to have a marriage for three.

What is Love?

What is Love?

This question has been asked so many times. Each time its asked you get a different answer. We have looked at love from the bible's point of view and we have looked at love from the world's point to view. From what I can see is that Love is the creator and like God love is pure, kind, and true. 

In marriage love is the glue that seals the relationship but it's not the only thing that keeps the relationship growing. Love in its purest form in a marriage is selfless. Wanting nothing but to please the other person. While this is great it appears to be one sided and true love will never allow another to be placed in a situation that is so one sided that everything is flowing out and nothing is coming in.

On our wedding day we just focus in on the surface of love. We have that all time feel of how love makes you feel vs. how lasting is love once trouble begins. With marriage love is a daily choice. It has nothing to do with feelings. It has to do with caring enough for another that you are willing to let certain things go. You are able to decide that while you may not feel it you still love anyway. 

When I think of love not only do I refer to the scripture in Corinthians but I look at the true source of love. That is God. He is love. Pure and simple. He never has to love us but He does no matter what we do or don't do. By His example we too have to love our spouses in the same way. We must love them even when we don't like them. We must love them when they prove themselves unloving for a moment or two. We must love them when they are not showing us love. When we do this in our marriage then our foundation becomes stronger and love grows. 

That seal that will keep the couple united for the course of their lifetime. So in answer to our original question "What is love?" I can only answer that love is God and His ways and examples. When we love His way there is no doubt that we will love for a lifetime.    

When the music stopped so did the Love!!!

Where is the Love?

I am a child of the early 50's. Growing up there was one thing that was very consistent and that was music. It was all around us. We as children and through out our teens even into our early adulthood there was music. We learned to appreciate all types of music. Gospel, jazz, rock and roll, country, classical, hard rock , and contemporary. It didn't matter. What mattered was that this music had words that inspired and seemed to generate love.

Whether it was love acquired, love desired, love lasting, love wanting, or love that had been lost but wanting to be regained...the point was it centered on love. This music seemed to keep couples united. Caring and sharing how they felt. Many men didn't know just what to say to a lady but they could hear words to a song and get a line or two that would win the heart of their lady love.

Men would listen to the words of a song by Smokey Robinson and he would say " I will build you a castle with the tower so high it reaches the moon. I'll take a melody from birds that fly and compose you a tune. Everyday we will play on the milkyway and if that won't do then I'll try something new". Knowing that your man could not do any of these things didn't matter but just the thought that he would try something each day to win and keep you would just lighten your heart and keep you loving him.

The words to the songs were always up lifting and presented women and love in a respectful way. Classics such as Elvis Presley's Can't help falling in love with you when he sings "wise men say only fools rush in but I can't help falling in love with you. Take my hand and take my life too but I can't help falling in love with you". These songs in my opinion kept love alive and marriage strong. It focused on love and togetherness. If you were having a difficult season you could put on the music and it would soften your heart.

Even when the marriage was in trouble you could hear songs like the Chilites when they sang "oh girl I'll be in trouble if you left me now. Cause I don't know where to look for love and I just don't know how." Or Johnny Mathis as he sang "chances are you believe the stars that fill the sky are in my eyes." Or the Temptations when they sang "the girls alright with me you know the girls alright".Or even the rock bands like the Rolling Stones when Mic Jagger sang " I can't get no satisfaction..and I tried and I tried and I tried." You have the gospel with "Falling in love with Jesus is the best thing I've ever done."

So when did we loose the love? When did couples stop looking dreamy in each other's eyes? When did marriage and relationship take on such a negative connotation? Personally I think when the music stopped. When the love songs were replaced with pounding demonic sounding beats from hard rock. Or negative adjectives about ladies and their anatomies by rap groups. When women's-lib decided that it was too demeaning to receive love in this way and more and more songs about "I am woman here me roar."

I have no problem with women being treated as equals where work is concerned but I do have problems when society tends to forget to give us our respect. When the world mistreats us just because they feel that we are the weaker sex. We are still the hand that rocks the cradle. We are still the ones that set the love tone. We are still the ones whom God created to be a help to man. So we deserve to be loved and cared for in all ways.

I'm not saying that music or lack of it is the entire reason that our society is crumbling and marriage is in jeopardy. What I'm saying is that music, art, poetry and books all have an impact on how we live. When kids constantly hear that woman are whores, that lets sacrifice our lives to the enemy, and money is king and the most important thing that we have then they look at our old values as just that old. When couples constantly hear that marriage is nothing but a piece of paper and that it should not be exclusive. That being with one person is old and out dated creates the image that marriage really is not worth all of the effort.

What the love songs did was keep the love in the air. It kept the melody alive in your heart. Think about it...how many times have you heard one of those great songs and it stayed in your head all day. You walked around humming it or singing the chorus or just a word or two. Each time you sang it you began to smile.

We have to bring the love back. We have to put goodness back in our spirits. We have to place focus back on the things that will keep us together in harmony. I really feel that we must start with the music. Why? Music is a universal language in itself. It reaches all. Just singing a love song that supports women and men in relationship helps strengthen the union. Something that allows lovers to dream again. Something that will make the young take notice and see that its easier to win the heart with love then with demeaning words and gestures. It allows the strong woman to understand that its alright to be strong and its just as good to be loving and lovable.

My theory is that when the love songs stopped the words and music changed then slowly without notice love just left. Replaced with all sorts of dysfunction and malice. It is said that music is the soul of God that's why we react the way we do. Likewise man has allowed what was put here for our good to be destroyed and manipulated to a point that we no longer respect each other or what is good and wholesome.

I would like each one of you reading this blog to go home and put on a oldie but goodie love song. Take your spouse in your arms or by the hand and just slow dance. Listen to the words and feel the music go with it. I can guarantee that before the night is over you will be so deep in physical intimacy that you will wonder where that burst came from (wink wink). Then when you recouperate from this experiment drop us a comment and let me know if my theory was right or wrong.

Finally I leave you with these words:"Finally, brethren whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report: if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8. What Paul is telling us is to find whats good in this world and put our focus on that to get us through. Marriage as God created it is under attack. I feel that by loosing the music the love songs that our focus has moved away from love. Only we can bring it back.

One of our favorites is by Frankie Beverly and Mazie...I've quoted from this song so many times but I just love it..."everyone must make their own kind of love in their own kind of way...your own kind of love is what you feel..."

Now with that said I'm going to go and find my spouse and put that song on and well..........

Marriage Under attack Or Not???

Marriage as we once knew it is under attack!!!

 For some odd reason marriage created by God is no longer good enough. Now we have marriage defined in several different ways. There are people who are of the school that marriage can be with two people of the same sex. There are some who feel that marriage is no more than a civil union. Still others feel that marriage is no more than a consented contract between the two and whatever they want can be added to that contract even an infidelity clause.

Some feel that just living together is the same as being married.

With all of these new views no wonder our children are growing up very confused.

Many people feel that its just a manner of choice and to be honest this statement is true.

The only thing that we have that's truly ours is our free will choice.

No one should take away a person's right to choose.

 However as God's children we need to live the life that He created for us.

We need to choose marriage and relationship according to His Will.

By understanding and learning how to live together according to the standards that He decreed

for us then our marriages will be more than just a contract or a new fad.

According to our Heavenly Father this coupling was to last our life time.
Many couples come together now with the concept that if it doesn't work
then they can just get a quick divorce.
Now that we have those "no fault" divorces then this can be done quickly and for
no other reason than one spouse didn't like the way their food was cooked. Or maybe they
didn't like the fact that the other spouse had gained weight.
Really any simple reason can be used to get a divorce.

Many couples don't want to bother with anything. They live together sometimes for
years and then look to the law to see if they are considered common law married.
Marriage God's way involves having a covenant relationship vs. a contract.
It involves going into the marriage knowing that its for a lifetime and the word divorce is not
allowed.

The couple must work together during the good times and the bad. Fidelity is a must.
God must be the Head of the marriage. The glue that keeps the couple going when
they could not manage it on their own. So many believe that the marriage is
base solely on the couple. To buy into this concept will have us basing
our marriage on the emotional feelings of the individual spouses.
Men and Women are too fickle to have something so powerful
and permanent resting on their shoulders.

Only the Creator can understand what we will be faced with and allocate His
strength, power, and peace to keep us united together as one.
I can't say that these other concepts are right or wrong.
I can only base my marriage on God's Word and Will
Some may have a great relationship with their contract marriage. They may
be able to live with the clause that allows one or the other spouse to
 to have another person added to the relationship.

Then there are others who feel that two men or two women can be united in holy matrimony.
These people want to have a bonding relationship. I can understand this and I see
nothing wrong with them living their lives as they see fit. However this is not the intentions
of God who happens to be the Creator of marriage.
A civil union yes a marriage no.
Then there are those who only see marriage as a civil union. Nothing more nothing less.
Just two people coming together with the law saying that if anything happens then
your partner may obtain the material things that you have acquired.

There are many today who's life's goal is to take God out of everything. They want
 to reduce our lives to a series of sordid filthy behaviors.
They want to break up couples and reduce families to having the government telling
them how they should raise their children. They want us to see
their way of life while denying us our love of God and all things good and holy.
The first thing that satan did in the garden was to break up the couple.

To separate the man and the woman. This is the same trick that he is using
today. As he demeans marriage to nothing but a long term boy friend
and girl friend relationship. Or a same sex affair.
So we ask you. Is marriage created by God under attack?
Do you feel that marriage should be a lifetime commitment?
Should two people of the same sex be united in holy matrimony or a civil union?
Should marriage be just a contract that you may add what you want to it including
an infidelity clause?

We leave you with some controversy.
We leave you with something to think about.
We leave you wondering if any of this matters or should we still allow God to rule our marital lives?
We leave you with choice as to what is important to you for your marriage.
Then finally we leave you with this

After pondering on this topic look deep into your heart
quiet your spirit and listen to what the Spirit of the Lord has to say
He will confirm what marriage is. He will instruct you and your spouse how to live.
Then He will give you peace to face whatever this world wants to say or do about what they label as
marriage.

Men may attack marriage as created by God all they want
but as for me and my house
we will follow the Lord!!!

So what do you think
marriage under attack or not?

What Every Couple Needs

We had no idea when we decided to get together with friends as three happy Valentine's couples just what we would discover. We are all in ministry either ministers, deacons, or the director of music in our churches. We each have separate ministries outside of church. The guys are also together in an up and coming male gospel group and we the ladies are their supportive others. Then we have outside work and families to take care of.

So to say that we are very busy is really an after thought. We met for our routine group meeting and at that time we had decided that the married couples would get away for Valentines day. One of the couples had a time-share and obtained a log cabin that would house all of us. We would go down to the wilderness for a long weekend. It was up to the ladies to plan activities and the food. We were told by the men that they would be fixing our Valentine breakfast on the Sunday before Valentines day. They also let us know that they would take the ladies out for a fancy dinner the Saturday before.

The ladies planned the food and the fun. We came up with a theme and worked the entire weekend based on that theme. We named it the "three R's". Rest, Relaxation, and Romance. We were determined to have a free weekend with a focus on the three R's. The ground rules were that no one could bring any work with them. That we would not talk about work or ministry. That we would have an old time "just have" fun weekend.

The cabin in the woods was great. I was in charge of coming up with the games, music, and the food for the first night. Our goal was to make it easy for everyone. We obtained trays of food already made up. Since all the ladies were on diets we were told by the men that the diets were off for the weekend. We got around that by having good food but healthy along with cake and candy. We had surprise gifts for all the couples to take home to remember this wonderful weekend.

We decided that we would work the three R's in reverse. The first night was relaxation. We got there and the first couple had the fire place going and all the rooms assigned. My husband and I brought in the food and set up the music. The third couple started the conversation going as we set up the table. We had decided that we were going old school. We were going to have a PJ party. The guys were sent to get on their PJ's as we decorated the room and got on ours. When they came back to join us they were shocked to see the room turned festive as if we opened a Valentine gift card from Hallmark.

We danced to music that we grew up with. We laughed and joked. We did old dances that we did as youngsters. We ate great food and talked about how each couple met. We stayed up to 4am that first night and then retired to our rooms. The next morning we woke at different times and went back to sleep as we wanted. Finally we all got up and in Pj's went to the table and ate the food we had left from the night before.

Today was Romance. We decided where we would go out for dinner. And each couple got ready to go. It was funny because all the couples ended up showering together in their separate bathrooms. We had not showered together in years. We went out to dinner and had a wonderful relax time. After dinner we stopped past the grocery store so the guys could get the breakfast for the morning and we got snacks for the night and dinner for Sunday.

We went back to the cabin and started our evening of Romance. The guys were such good sports. We had every game we could think of that we grew up with to play. Each game such as hide and seek or truth or dare and even spin the bottle all had an adult married theme. We played music and had so many twist to the games. Each game brought the couples closer together and ignited their love for each other.The last game ended in a way that each couple retired to their bedroom for their night of romance. We had love music playing all night and had games for two once each couple was inside of their haven of romance.

We had already informed the guys that Sunday was the third "R" and it was rest. The ladies were not going to do a thing. It was great the ladies got to sleep late and the guys got up and fixed a breakfast that any great chef would be proud of. They set the table with the nice china. Had the candles lit and when we came out each husband had sticky red hearts all over their faces. We fell out laughing and just enjoyed our meal and day of rest.

We went back to sleep, watched TV, listened to music, had deep conversations and heated up the meal we brought the night before and sat down for dinner. My husband kept saying this weekend is "priceless". Of course the ladies did not want to leave. We had the option to stay one more night but bad weather was predicted and we all had to be back at work early. The ladies pouted like children and the men (who didn't want to go either but knew that somebody had to be adult) push for us to leave late that Sunday night.

We cleaned the cabin and got everything in order as per the resorts directions. We came together and everyone gave their gifts to each other. We got into a prayer circle and prayed and gave thanks to God for the wonderful glorious weekend of love. Every couple rekindled their love for one another and had benefited from the three "R's". My husband took parting pictures and everybody gave hugs. We all left to go back home and had a peace that is still carrying the couples today.

So what does every married couple need? Sometime either alone together or with other loving couples. A get away for a day, weekend, or a week of the three "R's". Rest, Relaxation and Romance. Make it fun and get out of your comfort zone. Just enjoy the gift of love that God has blessed you with.

And oh yea.....do it often as you can

In fact the couple three are doing this again in April only this time we are going to the beach....The three "R's" here we come again!!!

PRICELESS

Can you tell me...what is love and where does it dwell?

Love is in the Air!!! Its that time of the year that we can just sit back and focus on the things of love. Many have mixed ideas about Valentines Day being a made up holiday so that the card etc. companies can make some money this could be true or not. I really don't care. What I do care about is that there is a time that everyone can recognize that its time to outwardly show love.

Its fun to walk through the stores and just see all of the red, pink, white balloons, teddy bears, and lovely flowers. Even the worse of the worse husbands, boyfriends, lovers or just friends will make an attempt to get in on the love. You get to hear love songs. You see people walking hand in hand as they go out on a date.

Those who are not involved will still go out and get with friends that they love just to make sure that they get to enjoy the loving feeling that's surrounding us during this time. So really what is Love and just where does love dwell?

Many have attempted to answer that question. When asked what was love Jeremy Taylor answered :Love is friendship set on fire". Kahlil Gibran stated "Ever has it been that love know not its own depth until the hour of separation." When asked where does love dwell Jean Paul F.Richter states "Paradise is always where love dwells".

So where do we get the answer to this question we wonder? We all know that there is love. We all know that it just pops up when we least expect it. We all know that during this season we are made to focus on it. But we really don't know what love really is and where it dwells.

To answer those elusive questions there is a place we can turn to and obtain any answer we need. For those of us who know Him we know that all we have to do is just read our instruction book. What is Love????...maybe we should be saying Who is Love???

GOD IS LOVE...plain and simple. All consuming love. What we feel for each other is just a tip of the iceberg of love. Where does love dwell??? In our hearts and being as we embrace Him. As we take a small taste of Him and past it on that love just grows and becomes a consuming fire.

So now you know as you allow the Him To Live and Grow In You then you can't help but show love. Not just during a time that someone thought to make us aware but everyday that you live and breathe. You will look at your spouse and loved ones in a different way because you have discovered just where love dwells and just what love is.........

Just in case you forgot what and where we will repeat it again.....

YOU ARE LOVE AND IT DWELLS INSIDE YOUR HEART!!!