Is Reality TV Good For Marriage?

This break-up is a shame and I'm praying for them

I have to make a confession I really like the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Now with that said this season I have to admit that it really got on my last nerve. I'm going to be honest I'm not sure if I will watch it next season. Why? I was just not pleased with what they have shown me about marriage. First of all there are only three ladies that are actually married. So how can you call yourself the Real Housewives? Second the ladies acted like middle school bad girls. The older ladies who have been married or were married treated the youngest married lady really bad. While she was not very knowledgeable and appeared as if she was an airhead she was married and attempting to live the housewife life. She was trying to honor her marriage and what her husband wanted. While I felt that somethings were a bit overboard but then again they had only been married for two years.

The ladies were stating to her that her husband was controlling and that she should be here own woman. While there was some truth to that still that was her marriage and no two marriages are alike. The sad part is that after the season was over it has been stated that the couple are heading for divorce. Could it had been the pressure of the show? She being around the ladies who are all self-made ladies and have a career? Was it because her husband really is controlling and does not want her on the show? Could it had been because the show was just not good for their marriage. 

I don't know the answer to this question but my limited research has shown that on the entire housewife franchise there have been over 13 breakups while the couples have been on these shows. Maybe showing your day to day marriage with its up's and down's for all the world to see may not be the best thing for marriage. I understand wanting to work and to be on the air but if it's going to affect the marriages then is it worth it?

I still feel that while we love to take a peek at these exciting people it's not worth loosing your marriage over it. I'm at fault because I'm one of the ones that will sit there and wait for the show to come on. I could be the part of the group that is causing couples in this high profile to break-up. I am praying for the young couple who I have pictured here that with good Christian counseling and help from their pastor with prayer that they will become the couple that they should be. Two years married is not very long and they need to give it another try and work harder on it. 

Now the last thing I must confess....I'm not sure that I won't be back next season waiting to see the outcome...what can I say I'm only human...lol. Give us your comments on Marriage and the real housewives.

Seek To Know Each Other Before You Leap Into Marriage

Seek to know each other before you leap into marriage

Recently we are seeing people get married one moment and then less than three months they are filing for divorce. Many of these marriages are blasted in front of our faces because these people are considered famous or everything that they do is public knowledge. 

There was a time I would not feel for these so called celebrities. I would have thought that they got what they sort...fame. However now i know that people are just that people. We want love and companionship no matter who we are. We all have our ups and our downs but at least when we are down or make a mistake the world does not need to know about it. 

Marriage is so important to us that whenever something is going on that involves marriage we look into it. So when a famous singer announced that she and her husband were divorcing after only 16 or 19 days (not sure of the exact number) my heart just hurt. I was upset and felt like here we go again another couple jumping into marriage and pretending. Another couple who does not hold the marriage commitment as sacred. When I voiced this my very own daughter corrected me.

She said "mom its not her fault. She didn't know that this would happen. From what I read they had friends who interfered and she found it impossible to be together as a couple. I really think she wanted her marriage." Her statement made me stop and look at the situation more closely. While I still had my reservations I had to wonder why this marriage lasted only days and another couples lasted only two months.

I came to one conclusion. While I have no information about the two couples. I'm not sure if they sort counseling or not but I do know that every couple should have pre-marital counseling before they say those "I Do's". As an officiate I marry a lot of couples and whole myself accountable for their union as God holds me. Many couples who seek our service don't use them because I make it clear that they must take the six-week premarital counseling course. 

This course is set up so that each aspect of their life is identified with a scenario that the couple as well as myself can discuss. The couple has to talk about as well as write out their answers to the questions. At the end of the course we talk about anything that concerns them face to face. They always have a written account of their sessions for future problems. 

Having these sessions are no guarantee that you will have a happy and lasting marriage but these sessions offers you insight as to how your marriage will progress. It offers the couple tools that they can use to help with possible stumbling blocks. It allows them to talk about potential concerns before they happen and it allows the couple to show each other how they will naturally react to the situation.

Many couples are so excited about being in love they forget that marriage is suppose to be for a lifetime. Many things can go on in a lifetime. People grow and change marriage does the same thing. Starting out in marriage with realistic goals and holding each party accountable for their role in the marriage. 

We teach that God is the Head of the marriage and that all truth is in God. Our marriage must be given over to Him and we must follow His direction. We must remember that marriage was created by Him and it is He who can tell us what is needed and how to last together for a life time.

Our marriage ministry has placed a six week pre-marital counseling session online for those couples to obtain and we don't have to be the officiate but we will answer their questions and give them God's guidance. Marriage is too important to enter into it lightly or without help. We must understand each other and attempt to go into it to last for the duration of our lives. We must learn that the couples goal is to become one together in Christ Jesus.

My prayer is that those celebrities who are going through this difficult period  would seek God to comfort them and to show them who their true mates are. Also that all couples before marriage seek counseling so that they have a chance to have that bliss know as a happy loving marriage.   

Marriage Under attack Or Not???

Marriage as we once knew it is under attack!!!

 For some odd reason marriage created by God is no longer good enough. Now we have marriage defined in several different ways. There are people who are of the school that marriage can be with two people of the same sex. There are some who feel that marriage is no more than a civil union. Still others feel that marriage is no more than a consented contract between the two and whatever they want can be added to that contract even an infidelity clause.

Some feel that just living together is the same as being married.

With all of these new views no wonder our children are growing up very confused.

Many people feel that its just a manner of choice and to be honest this statement is true.

The only thing that we have that's truly ours is our free will choice.

No one should take away a person's right to choose.

 However as God's children we need to live the life that He created for us.

We need to choose marriage and relationship according to His Will.

By understanding and learning how to live together according to the standards that He decreed

for us then our marriages will be more than just a contract or a new fad.

According to our Heavenly Father this coupling was to last our life time.
Many couples come together now with the concept that if it doesn't work
then they can just get a quick divorce.
Now that we have those "no fault" divorces then this can be done quickly and for
no other reason than one spouse didn't like the way their food was cooked. Or maybe they
didn't like the fact that the other spouse had gained weight.
Really any simple reason can be used to get a divorce.

Many couples don't want to bother with anything. They live together sometimes for
years and then look to the law to see if they are considered common law married.
Marriage God's way involves having a covenant relationship vs. a contract.
It involves going into the marriage knowing that its for a lifetime and the word divorce is not
allowed.

The couple must work together during the good times and the bad. Fidelity is a must.
God must be the Head of the marriage. The glue that keeps the couple going when
they could not manage it on their own. So many believe that the marriage is
base solely on the couple. To buy into this concept will have us basing
our marriage on the emotional feelings of the individual spouses.
Men and Women are too fickle to have something so powerful
and permanent resting on their shoulders.

Only the Creator can understand what we will be faced with and allocate His
strength, power, and peace to keep us united together as one.
I can't say that these other concepts are right or wrong.
I can only base my marriage on God's Word and Will
Some may have a great relationship with their contract marriage. They may
be able to live with the clause that allows one or the other spouse to
 to have another person added to the relationship.

Then there are others who feel that two men or two women can be united in holy matrimony.
These people want to have a bonding relationship. I can understand this and I see
nothing wrong with them living their lives as they see fit. However this is not the intentions
of God who happens to be the Creator of marriage.
A civil union yes a marriage no.
Then there are those who only see marriage as a civil union. Nothing more nothing less.
Just two people coming together with the law saying that if anything happens then
your partner may obtain the material things that you have acquired.

There are many today who's life's goal is to take God out of everything. They want
 to reduce our lives to a series of sordid filthy behaviors.
They want to break up couples and reduce families to having the government telling
them how they should raise their children. They want us to see
their way of life while denying us our love of God and all things good and holy.
The first thing that satan did in the garden was to break up the couple.

To separate the man and the woman. This is the same trick that he is using
today. As he demeans marriage to nothing but a long term boy friend
and girl friend relationship. Or a same sex affair.
So we ask you. Is marriage created by God under attack?
Do you feel that marriage should be a lifetime commitment?
Should two people of the same sex be united in holy matrimony or a civil union?
Should marriage be just a contract that you may add what you want to it including
an infidelity clause?

We leave you with some controversy.
We leave you with something to think about.
We leave you wondering if any of this matters or should we still allow God to rule our marital lives?
We leave you with choice as to what is important to you for your marriage.
Then finally we leave you with this

After pondering on this topic look deep into your heart
quiet your spirit and listen to what the Spirit of the Lord has to say
He will confirm what marriage is. He will instruct you and your spouse how to live.
Then He will give you peace to face whatever this world wants to say or do about what they label as
marriage.

Men may attack marriage as created by God all they want
but as for me and my house
we will follow the Lord!!!

So what do you think
marriage under attack or not?