Staying in Love is for a Lifetime

People are falling in love everyday. Then you notice that after a short run they are out of love. More and more today I'm hearing couples who have been married less than three years announce that they are no longer in love. This made me wonder why? After all of the hoopla over the wedding and the honeymoon then the first year of marital bliss the real life marriage begins. This is the time when the gloves come off and the true face is shown. 

This is the time that the couple should dig in and become determined to grow their love and relationship. A lasting love takes work, time and patience on the parts of both spouses. The marriage will go through many seasons of change. During those changes the couple will experience different degrees of their love. There will be times when the couple might look at each other and just not feel that loving feeling.

Its during those times that the couple must choose to love one another and push their marriage to another level. People fall in love everyday for many reasons. We see it on TV and in the movies where people meet and then before they know it they are in love, in bed, and standing before the preacher. They have a crazy relationship and end up separated or divorce. Its funny and we think that this is the way love really is. You fall in, have fun, and when it gets rough you move on.

This is not love or a base for a long life with the love of your life. Everyday from the moment you become one you must pray over your marriage. Set your mind to work on keeping your marriage healthy and choose to love no matter what. As the couple in the above picture shows us staying in love is oh so special. This is what God ordained marriage to be and all marital couples should set staying in love as their marital goal. To love one another by any means necessary is ok but to love each other with God as your center will allow for that goal of staying in love for a lifetime.

What is Love?

What is Love?

This question has been asked so many times. Each time its asked you get a different answer. We have looked at love from the bible's point of view and we have looked at love from the world's point to view. From what I can see is that Love is the creator and like God love is pure, kind, and true. 

In marriage love is the glue that seals the relationship but it's not the only thing that keeps the relationship growing. Love in its purest form in a marriage is selfless. Wanting nothing but to please the other person. While this is great it appears to be one sided and true love will never allow another to be placed in a situation that is so one sided that everything is flowing out and nothing is coming in.

On our wedding day we just focus in on the surface of love. We have that all time feel of how love makes you feel vs. how lasting is love once trouble begins. With marriage love is a daily choice. It has nothing to do with feelings. It has to do with caring enough for another that you are willing to let certain things go. You are able to decide that while you may not feel it you still love anyway. 

When I think of love not only do I refer to the scripture in Corinthians but I look at the true source of love. That is God. He is love. Pure and simple. He never has to love us but He does no matter what we do or don't do. By His example we too have to love our spouses in the same way. We must love them even when we don't like them. We must love them when they prove themselves unloving for a moment or two. We must love them when they are not showing us love. When we do this in our marriage then our foundation becomes stronger and love grows. 

That seal that will keep the couple united for the course of their lifetime. So in answer to our original question "What is love?" I can only answer that love is God and His ways and examples. When we love His way there is no doubt that we will love for a lifetime.    

From This Day Forward

Love at its best

From this day forward, I make a promise whatever happens you shall not walk alone. I’ll stand by your side, and sleep in your arms. I’ll be the joy in your heart and the food for your soul. I will bring out the best in you always, to be the best I can be, just for you, to celebrate with you in the good times, to struggle with you in the bad. Always your love, always your best friend. 

The above paragraph is the beginning of the wedding vows that I sometime use when I'm officiating. In fact during the last wedding the couple chose this one. As I was saying it and having the couple repeat it I like to watch their faces. In nine times out of ten both begin to cry at this point. I have to fight back the tears so I can continue with the rest of the ceremony myself in most cases.

I have the couple repeat after me together as I'm saying this part of their vows. They are facing each other and speaking to one another as their love ones look on. It's a way for them to make their wedding vows more practical yet loving before they go into their individual ones. As I listened to the last couple I looked over at my own husband. He acts as my assistant during the many ceremonies. He smiled at me and we both knew that this opening had great memories for us as well.

Then their words resonated into my ears and heart and once the wedding was over my husband and I sat in the car and talked about the meaning of those words.We focused on the intimacy of the vows. As it opened with "from this day forward". Just the opening offered changed for any couple. It states that a promise will be made on the day of their wedding. One that you don't plan to break. It breaks down what the promise is...that they will never walk alone. They are promising each other to be there so that as a couple neither will have to worry about being left by themselves.

Each one has determined certain things such as:

Standing by each other's side

Sleeping in each other's arms

Being the joy in each other's hearts

The food for each other's soul

From there each couple vows and promise to bring out the best in each other always and to allow their partner to bring out the best in them. They promise each other and God before all who loves them that they would celebrate together in the good seasons and struggle together during the bad seasons always united in marital love. Then in the end just going back to the wonderful joy of real deep committed love. However not just intimate romantic love but love of two friends and lovers.

As we sat looking at the beautiful garden that the wedding took place and saw the joys as the couple celebrated their union, we smiled and recommitted our love for one another. Those words still meant a lot to each of us. That when we stood in front of our officiant and friends so many years ago that we wanted to always be each others lover and each others best friend. 

Sometimes just go back and revisit the vows that you made on your wedding day. Remember the love then and look at the love now. In our case while that day was so great and I know how much I loved him then.....now after over 30 years I know that I love him even more now. Because now we have seen the promises made come full circle. We have laid in each other's arms. We have not been alone since we became one. We have been the joy and food for each other during good times and bad. We have struggled together.

We have praised together and we have laughed together. Then in the end of it all we have been each others best friend. Seeing, that our love was protected and sheltered from harm. We have been intimate with each other on all levels of intimacy and no matter what we want the best for the other. 

So in the end we begin with open promises but we end up with those promises and vows coming to life. Marriage is more than a piece of paper. More than a cause. More than just material and lawful benefits. Marriage is a celebration of a lifetime relationship of unity between the couple and God. The one who formed the union in the first place. Take time to see your love at the beginning of your marriage and now just to see where you are in the whole scheme of marital love.

All we can say is that: From this day forward.....true love has no expiration date!!!   

What To Do When You Think Your In-laws Hate You

Please buy
 being sold at a discount

Most of the time we see where the spouse has a problem with the in-laws. Most of the time it's the female spouse dealing with the mother of the male spouse. They just don't click and the spouse that is coming into the relationship will automatically have a dislike for the in-law. However this post is talking about when the In-laws really hate the spouse. It could be the male spouse or the female spouse. So we are going to take a look at what you should do when your In-laws just hate you for no real reason. Or for reasons that they might not have addressed to you.

You being the hated spouse have no hard feelings towards your in-laws. In fact you found it most surprising that you have sense this negativity towards you when you have attempted to be the additional child in the new family dynamics. Many times it's not what they have said but what you have perceived. You have mentioned these feelings to your spouse only for him/her to say that it's not true. While your spouse can attempt to smooth things over between you he/she can't dictate how your in-laws actions or words make you feel. 

Some actions that might help when you are preceding this negative actions or comments from your in-laws.

Step One- Open loving communication with your spouse:

Always go directly to your spouse in a serious yet loving way. Tell your spouse your true feelings about how you feel about his family. Remain calm as you converse with him. Be careful not to offend your spouse's family. Use your "I" words. For example instead of saying "Your mother thinks she knows it all and attempts to put me down in a sneaky way in front of you and others." Say it this way: "I feel that some of the comments that your mother says about me in front of others makes me feel as though she is putting me down. It hurts my feelings and I am embarrass." You might want to call her the evil bride of the devil himself but don't do this while speaking to your spouse. That is his/her mother and you would not like anyone speaking bad about your mother or father. If you don't handle the conversation with love then you may open a door that can never be closed again. Pick your time and make sure you are not angry at the time.

Step Two- Apologize, forgive, and forget:

You will have to be the bigger person. You may not feel that you have done anything wrong, but some problem had occurred. Rather than allowing everything that you have had building up inside of you loose simply apologize for whatever role you played in creating the tension. Now this is the hard part you must forgive your in-laws. You must move pass the negativity for the sake of your family. Your spouse will see that you are trying your best and will take a second look at his/her parents. If your spouse see that it's not you then your spouse will come to your aid. 

Step Three- Try to meet their needs:

Open up for dialog. You need to talk with your in-laws to see what it is they want of you or from you. Have your spouse with you when this is done, make an honest attempt. If you find out that there is really something expected and you do it then expect to see things change. If they do not then you know you have attempted and leave it at that. Your spouse will know that you did your best. Some people will just not like you no matter what, but at least you have given it all you have and you can be polite to your in-laws. This will keep your spouse happy and your children. Be Christ like no matter what. Pray for them and one day there will be peace in your marital life. 

As a spouse you want your family to have peace and harmony. You are the only one that can make that happen. If you don't argue and keep hate going then it can't grow. Purpose in your heart even if you have to keep distance that you will not be the cause of friction between your spouse and your family. As  long as you have the Lord leading then your situation will change for your well good and His glory.

Is there any good news reported about being married

For those of you who have kept up with us for the past two years you are well aware of the new things that we have added to the ministry. We have a new section that focuses on Bride's fitness. We provide articles about getting in shape to wear your dress on that big day. We have also added the comic section where we take a moment to just laugh at ourselves as spouses. We have expanded our officiant service and have added the link to our new and improved officiant and events service website. While all of this is wonderful we have also added a section that focuses on marriage in the news.

We thought this would be a wonderful way of encouragement and focus on how other people are still enjoying being a couple for life. While in the very beginning I thought this would be so great and was so excited to look at news articles all over the world so I could find something that would be pro marriage. This month I became very discourage.

I had the hardest time finding anything positive about marriage. Every article dealt with some form of same sex marriage or divorce. There were articles about cheating and open marriages. There were many about how to get on after infidelity. I was becoming upset and wondering was anybody talking good about the union of marriage?

So I thought why not look up Christian news articles about marriage? Would you believe that I could not find one that spoke about the joys of being in a God centered union. They focused on cheating, recovery from infidelity and how to get through difficulties in marriage. I could not accept this so I went to the celebrities. Of course I found more of the same and just decided to just leave what I had from last month.

Then by the grace of God Ben Aflack and his wife Jennifer Gardner had there bouncing baby boy. Everything written spoke about them being a very loving family. That they pulled away from Hollywood so they could focus on their marriage and children without the influence of tinsel town. I didn't see anything negative and I took a moment to pray for them to remain in love and stable with the type of jobs that they had in the public eye.

Moral to this dilemma is that marriage is a creation of God and He will always have an example for us to see so we are encourage. Also we must pray for all married couples that they be able to weather the storm that has been raging against them. So there will continue to be "Amour in the News" on 2R1N CHRIST Marriage and Relationship Ministry.

Seek To Know Each Other Before You Leap Into Marriage

Seek to know each other before you leap into marriage

Recently we are seeing people get married one moment and then less than three months they are filing for divorce. Many of these marriages are blasted in front of our faces because these people are considered famous or everything that they do is public knowledge. 

There was a time I would not feel for these so called celebrities. I would have thought that they got what they sort...fame. However now i know that people are just that people. We want love and companionship no matter who we are. We all have our ups and our downs but at least when we are down or make a mistake the world does not need to know about it. 

Marriage is so important to us that whenever something is going on that involves marriage we look into it. So when a famous singer announced that she and her husband were divorcing after only 16 or 19 days (not sure of the exact number) my heart just hurt. I was upset and felt like here we go again another couple jumping into marriage and pretending. Another couple who does not hold the marriage commitment as sacred. When I voiced this my very own daughter corrected me.

She said "mom its not her fault. She didn't know that this would happen. From what I read they had friends who interfered and she found it impossible to be together as a couple. I really think she wanted her marriage." Her statement made me stop and look at the situation more closely. While I still had my reservations I had to wonder why this marriage lasted only days and another couples lasted only two months.

I came to one conclusion. While I have no information about the two couples. I'm not sure if they sort counseling or not but I do know that every couple should have pre-marital counseling before they say those "I Do's". As an officiate I marry a lot of couples and whole myself accountable for their union as God holds me. Many couples who seek our service don't use them because I make it clear that they must take the six-week premarital counseling course. 

This course is set up so that each aspect of their life is identified with a scenario that the couple as well as myself can discuss. The couple has to talk about as well as write out their answers to the questions. At the end of the course we talk about anything that concerns them face to face. They always have a written account of their sessions for future problems. 

Having these sessions are no guarantee that you will have a happy and lasting marriage but these sessions offers you insight as to how your marriage will progress. It offers the couple tools that they can use to help with possible stumbling blocks. It allows them to talk about potential concerns before they happen and it allows the couple to show each other how they will naturally react to the situation.

Many couples are so excited about being in love they forget that marriage is suppose to be for a lifetime. Many things can go on in a lifetime. People grow and change marriage does the same thing. Starting out in marriage with realistic goals and holding each party accountable for their role in the marriage. 

We teach that God is the Head of the marriage and that all truth is in God. Our marriage must be given over to Him and we must follow His direction. We must remember that marriage was created by Him and it is He who can tell us what is needed and how to last together for a life time.

Our marriage ministry has placed a six week pre-marital counseling session online for those couples to obtain and we don't have to be the officiate but we will answer their questions and give them God's guidance. Marriage is too important to enter into it lightly or without help. We must understand each other and attempt to go into it to last for the duration of our lives. We must learn that the couples goal is to become one together in Christ Jesus.

My prayer is that those celebrities who are going through this difficult period  would seek God to comfort them and to show them who their true mates are. Also that all couples before marriage seek counseling so that they have a chance to have that bliss know as a happy loving marriage.   

The Next Generation Still Wants Marriage

Will you marry me?
Of course I will!


On our new social network Feeling God there is a wonderful young lady who has a diary ministry in support of marriage. Its called "marriage the next generation". She has allowed me to use her name in this blog. I thank you marriage the next generation for your support of this ministry and Feeling God. So with that said I would like to get on with this blog.

Marriage the next generation. 

Many are saying that marriage as God created it is dead. That we must embrace the new and throw out the old. That marriage is meant for all no matter what their sexual orientation is. I'm not going to focus on same sex marriage. As a minister of God I can not go against His Word and Will but what I want to focus on is that no matter how the world attempt to corrupt and destroy God's Way and His Will always come through.

I seen this when we attended our granddaughter's first birthday party recently. We sat back and watched our daughter and her husband interact with one another. You could see the pride they had in their child and the joy of celebrating her first birthday. Everyone commented on how they got along as a couple and how they appeared so happy being married.

We got together after the party and my husband and I talked to the couple and informed them of what was said. Our daughter spoke about being happy and that while everything was not perfect they were truly happy. Her husband spoke about having the love of a Godly woman and the responsibility that he felt taking care of his girls. He said that he took pride in knowing that God was the leader of their home and that he directed the family in the way of Jesus. 

He stated that no matter what others said he never felt negative about his wife and that he was the most blessed man alive. My daughter beamed and the little family was the cutest thing that I've seen in awhile. What I also notice was that their friends had their little families there and those who did not have kids yet were married and very happy with it. 

Most of the couples stated that they were a part of 2r1n Christ and was learning that just emotional love was not enough. That the union was daily work but nothing worthwhile having didn't take work keeping.

This party was an eye opener. Just like the young lady on Feeling God "Marriage the Next Generation" the young want the stability of a Godly marriage. No matter what the world is throwing at them they are proving that God created it right from the beginning and they want to go back to the ways of the garden.

Thanks to all those young wonderful Godly couples who made us feel that our work is not in vain. That marriage has a place in the lives of the young and they want it GOD'S WAY!

Honey...what does Love mean to You?

THIS IS NOT WHAT I THOUGHT LOVE WAS SUPPOSE TO BE

LOVE

 a simple four letter word that packs so much meaning. We all have our concepts of that word. Many wars have been started in the name of love. Many couples break up because they have different definitions of the word. When asked you may get many answers. Some may say that love is a deep feeling of happiness. Others will say that love is an attraction. There are those who will say that its deeper than just liking someone. Its more than just friendship.

You have many who may think of love only on the physical terms meaning that love is a physical act. You have your bible scholars that will give you the meaning of unconditional acceptance. They will tell you that its a planned choice to love instead of an emotional one.

You will have yet still those who believe that love is only emotional or just intellectual or psychological. The thing is this when asked each person will have their own preconceived notion of love. Therein is where the problem lies. Most couples never take the time to find out what their mate may think love is.

When met with difficult seasons of marriage they result to thinking that the other is not showing them love. Many times that person is showing the love that they know and feel. Unless the other spouse fully understands what their mates concept of love is then they will never know if they are truly being loved by their spouse.

The bible teaches us that we have not because we don't ask. Such a simple thing to do. One day when you are not in conflict just relax and ask your spouse to tell you what they believe love is. Then you tell them what you see love as. Meet in the middle and always attempt to love your spouse in the way that they want to be loved. That is the choice in loving. Choosing to love your mate in the way that they would want to be loved.

Now the next time you are in a relax non-physical stimulating moment and just need to get your talk on I personally think that you need to ask a question.

How about this:

Honey....what does love mean to you?

 You never know it might lead you to that glorious physical moment afterwards!

A Solution To A Sexless Marriage

Oh do we love summer!!! Yes it gets hot in July but still its summer. Its a time to get out and enjoy. Even the hot days are welcome when you think back over the long hard winter. These are the lazy hazy days of fun and relaxation. Even as you work its something about summer that puts you in a slow easy mode. With this relaxed  state of mind this month we want to tackle a matter that many couples are facing that they find difficult to talk about. From our research its becoming a mini epidemic. What could this be you say? Well what many couples are now facing is living together in a sexless marriage. This topic maybe too detailed and graphic for many of our readers so at this point if you don't think God made physical intimacy for the married couple for fun and enjoyment then you definitely need to stop reading this months loveazine. However if you find yourself in this state or want to prevent it from happening in your marriage then you need to continue with this months lesson.

Not tonight dear, I have a headache and it will last at least one year!!!

Growing up watching TV in the early 60's the sitcoms would have a couple and the man would be asking the woman for that special time and she would answer " Not tonight dear, I have a headache". At the time I didn't really see the joke and now that I'm pass my prime I still don't get it. I know that it had to do with physical intimacy between a married couple I get that much but why are they saying no? That's the part that does not compute. Really isn't that the greatest perk that a married couple has? God's blessing on sexual relationship!!! Comedians use this as something very funny and it could be if it was not true.

Don't get me wrong sexual intercourse is not the only thing that will make a marriage work. We know its more to it then that but no sex in a marriage is a quick way of breaking up the relationship for good. When couples aren't connecting physically in an intimate way then emotional as well as physical needs are not met and the marriage suffers greatly. It will not last. Don't get me wrong there maybe unique situations that will cause a couple to not be able to have a physical relationship such as illness still the couple care for one another and may show it in a physical way that is non sexual. But when there is no problem with health then a married couple should be connecting on the physical as often as possible.

According to a recent study it concluded that between 15% and 20% of married couples fall into this sexless marriage state. They considered that as an epidemic. They further stated that a sexless marriage was one in which the couple make love no more than 10 times a year. We know that sex isn't the ultimate test of a loving relationship, however physical intimacy is a vital way to stay emotionally connected with each other. It brings that therapeutic touch into the couples being when it is given often and freely.  It also has other advantages to the spouses because its fun, relaxing, a good nights sleep and can even make you loose weight by giving you some exercise. (wink, wink).

The bad thing about this entire problem is that if the couple continues to withhold sexual relations long enough, then eventually both of you will get use to the lack of it. Then you will stop trying to initiate it with each other. That will just open the door for satan to allow another to come in and before you know it cheating will completely destroy your marriage. The good news is that with a little bit of understanding and work you can rekindle the physical intimacy you both once enjoyed.

God did it!

We need to stop right here and get the real foundation about sex. Our enemy satan always want to lie and pretend that he did something. Understand that all he can do is copy, steal and destroy. Sexual relations was not created by the devil. He can not create anything. Neither is sex the original sin. That happened to be pride which he did thinking he was better than the one that created him. That's why he got kicked out...oh wait a moment getting off the subject. Physical intimacy not just "sex" is the original blessing that was created for us the married couple by God Himself!!! So how could something given to us by Him as a Gift be a sin? That's like saying God is a sinner and we know there is no sin in Him He is just pure love. Physical intimacy and not just plain old "sex" is our joining completely together and becoming one. That's why the proper term is making love or creating physical love. Its a joining of two parts of the physical person to be one in every way. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, socially and physically.

Only the Almighty could create such a union. Ok then lets look at it another way if you can't accept the spiritual union of physical intimacy. Lets look at what God did....He saw that man needed something to complete him so the first present that He gave him was a beautiful naked woman created from man's own body. The next thing He did was told them to be fruitful and multiply how...that had to copulate and make babies. After telling the man and woman what they needed to do to become a couple or one unit he placed them in that wonderful garden with all provisions provided. God then looked at His couple and said "BEHOLD, IT IS VERY GOOD"!!! So no matter how you look at it this is a precious gift from our Heavenly Father and we should not take it lightly or throw it back in His Face as if we don't need it.

The next point might take the entire month of reading this over and over to understand but its summer a good time to get some reading done.

God created everything after his own nature.

Father God patterned all that he created after his own nature and lets face it that includes erotic pleasure and reproduction. Romans 1:20 bacsicly tells us that if we observe creation we can gain knowledge of our Creator. God created all the finite and material in the image of his non-material self. Now don't start throwing the stones until you read the explanation!!! We must study and search but as we do this we will discover the association of each thing our Abba created with some aspect of his image.

1. In the image of His Infinity He created time with its past, present, and future.

2. To reflect the very existence of Him God created matter.

3. In the image of his power He created energy.

4. He created vast space to reflect his boundlessness.

5. He created motion in the image of his activity. 

6. In the image of His Wisdom He created the mind.

7. In His Self-determination he created the will.

8. Our human body was created in the image of God's connection with physical creation.

9. In the very image of our Father God's Soul He created music.

10. He created color in the image of His Beauty.

11. In the image of God's experience of Himself He created the senses of sight, touch, smell, taste, and hearing.

12. In the image of the second person of the Godhead "THE WORD" He created speech and writing.

13. Our human spirit was created in the image of the third person of the Godhead "THE HOLY SPIRIT".

14. Sex, where spirit, soul, and body merge into oneness, was created in the image of communion within the Godhead.

15. In the image of God's creative powers He created copulation, conception, and birth.

16. Last but not least erotic pleasure was created in the image of worship.

I know I have given you a lot to think about and ponder on that's why we give you an entire month to read and meditate on these matters. However seeing it this way allows you to see all that God has done to show us Himself and we must be thankful and grateful for every little thing. I will just elaborate on #16 for a moment because this is the bottom line about having a sexless marriage. God didn't just give us physical intimacy to just reproduce. If so He could have made us like animals that come into heat at a certain time of the year. He gave it to us for us to enjoy one another in a form of worship. For those of us who have been in a true spiritual worship experience and a true erotic experience knows that one is the image and the other is the reality. The true heights of worship transcend erotic pleasure in degree, but not in kind. True worship occurs when you lose consciousness of self and focus upon the person of God with humility, wonder, admiration, devotion and most of all love. The true state of worship is the most intense period of concentration anyone can know. It is an out of body experience. True worship of God is the height of purity, wholeness, peace , joy, and love. It is a state of being from which you never want to leave. God being whom He Is created a counter-part to this image in the form of erotic pleasure. When you reach that state of orgasmic release it shoots you straight to heaven where you get to SEE THE FACE OF GOD and you don't ever want to come back. WOW REALLY WHAT A GIFT!!! If you can't accept my concept on worship and exotic pleasure please email me what you think God created in His image to reflect worship.

OK NOW I NEED TO JUST PAUSE AND CATCH MY BREATH SO I CAN FINISH THIS (HA,HA,HA,) Back to work.

How to rekindle the physical intimacy you once enjoyed.

1. Stop playing the blame game

One of the first steps to salvaging your marital sex life is to stop blaming each other for the problem. Sit down and calmly talk about the situation and be truthful. Make a vow to God as you pray together to get to the real root of the problem and to then fix it.

2. Talk it out

This one goes along with the blame game. You can not silently walk around in agony over the abstinence. Nor can you just keep hoping things will change. You both must sit down in a relaxed manner and just honestly talk about everything where the abstinence issue is concern. Do not look at it as being embarrassing because its so taboo. This is a major part of martial life and both of you should be able to have an no holds bar discussion about what's not right with your current physical intimacy problem.

3. If all else fails enlist a Pro for help

Sometimes no matter how hard you try things just can't be resolved by you. That's when you may need a trusted marriage mentor or pastor. You may even have to seek Christian counseling.  A marriage pro may help you to articulate the matter to each other better and can keep it confidential. He/she may be able to give you a fresh perspective and provide you with some new solutions.

4. Now take action

After all of the talking is done then stop analyzing the emotional issues and move to resolution. You must now resolve the problem using the physical. Ok spelled out ITS TIME FOR THE BEDROOM ACTION!! Don't wait until you feel in the mood those days are over for now. As always my suggestion is to make a weekly date night and always follow the date with the physical action. This is a must at least each week and more if the need be but never skip date night no matter what. Even before the date night everyday take 10 min. of your time where the two of you come together and just hug, kiss, hold hands or just touch one another as you tell each other how thankful you are that God blessed you with your spouse. Just 10 min a day mandatory as well as once a week date night followed by a night of passionate love making.

Well I do understand that this loveazine topic has been long but I pray its helpful. To those that find there marriage in this situation and to those who don't ever want their marriage to come to this knowledge is the power. With God all things are possible and He has placed the information for us to have. The world want to convience you that marriage is obsolete and if you can't get along to just divorce. That's not God's plan for marriage and since He created it then He's the source to solving any problems we may encounter. As always 2-R-1-N CHRIST is here for you and offer all that we have and all that we have learned to help you have a Godly marriage and relationship.

  2-R-1-N CHRIST

         Marriage and Relationship Ministry

Sometimes inorder to be a great couple you have to be great apart!

You must love yourself first before you can couple with another

Writing this post today seems strange because our emphasis here at 2R1N CHRIST is to promote marriage and relationship. So how can I say that being a great couple would have you at a place of being apart? Our bottom line goal is to establish all married couples to be individuals together becoming one in Christ Jesus. However in order to do that there are times when you just need to be a lone individual before you can really enjoy being part of a couple.

If you have been a part of this marriage ministry you understand that this is wedding season. Many couples are planning and taking that next step. We are elated and have been extremely busy. Not only that we have started our summer season of lectures and are speakers at many local and some out of town marriage ministries as well. We have started the next phase of our ministry which is to establish a social network that places God in the social mix and that is in its infancy stages so its taking a lot of work.

Let me stop here and have a quick sidebar: I must invite you all to become a disciple of the new social network FEELING GOD. Its two weeks old today and a great place to gather and fellowship. http://www.feelinggod.ning.com  sorry end of sidebar back to the blog post.

So to say we have been very busy and in that the regular everyday life of working and living we don't know if we are coming or going half the time. So a strange think happened last Thursday. We found out that a church who had booked us for their spring marriage ministry conference canceled. My long weekend of running around and being busy with the conference etc. was now gone. Driving home from work I had been noticing that I just didn't feel like myself in my physical. I needed something but just didn't know what it was. Thinking that maybe I needed to change my diet (which I do) I decided to stop pass this natural health store and buy some vitamins.

To my surprise once there the store turned out to have a wonderful day spa in the back. I had just missed the May specials (gee whiz) but their prices were reasonable. I set everything up for Sat. since I was free and then wondered what was I going to do with my husband.

I got home and my husband was sitting on the bed making fishing lures. He greeted me with the sunniest smile and then said " So we are free this weekend?" I answered him in the affirmative and he shouted..."great I'm going fishing Friday night and won't be back until the end of the day Sat."!. Then he looked at me and asked as an after thought if I wanted to go. I said no go have fun I have something planned.

Long story short the weekend came. He was away having a ball with one of our sons fishing and fellowshipping. And I was in heaven. I had the best "ME" day ever. I had the works and by the time I left I was walking on air and all was right with the world. I made it home had a light meal and picked up my computer to work only to listen to the Holy Spirit and put it back down. I relaxed and listened to music and just thanked God for the joy of having a day that was just about me.

My husband arrived home excited and beat but so happy. We looked at each other and knew that this day apart was so needed. We talked about each other's day and decided that we must do this more often. We ended up the evening in each other's arms more appreciative of the fact that we were together but enjoying that we could be apart and have time that was only for oneself.

Moral of the weekend. You must have a "ME" day every now and then in order to enjoy the daily couple life. Decide what you want to do and then just do it. When you come back together you have a mini date night where you talk about your wonderful time of enjoying yourself and friends if you are like my husband.

Second moral of the weekend....I've already schedule a repeat of my day in two weeks and have encouraged him to do the same.....ha,ha,ha....

OH THOSE "ME" DAYS GOT TO LOVE THEM!!!

Cupcakes, Soda Pop, and Fishing....Oh My!!!



Cupcakes+ Soda Pop+ Fishing = Love



Its so much fun when married couples go away for a relaxing weekend of loving and reconnecting. The best part of it is when you start and end with a theme. During our Valentines mountain retreat of "rest, relaxation and romance we decided that we would repeat our grouping in April. Instead of going back to the mountains we wanted to go to the beach. The only problem was that the weather would not be warm but we would have the entire area basically to ourselves. We knew that the boys could not handle another weekend as we had before. They enjoyed it but made it clear that they wanted to be out and about. What they wanted just as much as us was a group Fishing adventure.

So we created a new theme. One that would embrace the ladies and cheer on the men and still end with romance. I have been working with a talented young lady who would be creating exclusive products for our webstores. I told her that I wanted a great weekend that would set the couples on fire. At the same time I wanted something sweet. We put our heads together and then came up with a perfect theme. Cupcakes, soda pop and fishing.

We had milkshake soda pops made in lovely scented candles....cupcake bath fizzies in enticing flavors that if you didn't know better you would want to eat them. We decorated the tables and areas with cupcake scenes. We had the candles and bath salts with small gift baskets of scented lotions and body sprays. I found matching lingerie that would make the men blush as it allowed the ladies to feel at the height of their sexiness. All the ladies had them in pretty pink bags with cupcake decorations on them.

We burned melon scented candles and had plates of real cupcakes in all flavors and soda pop. We produced a wonderful dinner and turned on piano love songs. Around the table was an assortment of fishing rods and fishing gear. We then called the men to come to the table. We had the doors opened and you could see the bay and see the waves and the smell of the salt bay air blended well with the melon scented candles. We had the guys full attention when they came in and saw their gear all around and a cupcake party for the girls.

That's how the weekend started and we had a ball. The men were so excited about going out fishing the next day that they came back with gifts for us. We each were given the cutest fishing rods in pink, orange and yellow. They lite up when you started to reel in the fish. They brought us hats  with matching tee shirts and sweatshirts. They were like little boys excited to be with each other and their girls.

Likewise the ladies got a kick out of playing with their cupcake theme as they opened their sexy gifts and we laughed at how and when we would wear them. We ate cupcakes and drank soda pop as our guys fished off the pier right outside of our patio. They became slightly upset when we turned down the music because they were enjoying it as well. So we kept the music going and the cupcake party going and just had a wonderful time.

Later that night we played music couple charades and just laughed and laughed. No one noticed that one by one the men excused themselves to go to the rooms. The ladies were having so much fun that we didn't pay it any attention. Soon it was time for the couples to retire and we notice that the men wanted the love songs to continue to play. When each couple went to their room they found that the doors were closed. The men opened the door for each lady and once the door was opened we could not believe our eyes. Each husband had gone to their room and set up the most romantic scene ever. There were candles burning all over the room. Sweet incense and plates of cheese crackers and fruit. Sparkling cider in grape and apple chilled.

The piano music playing in the background as the full moon lit the night sky and the waves hitting the surf from the bay. Suddenly all you heard in the entire suite was the sound of the ladies screaming with joy and surprise. Then it was our turn as we made all of the men go back to the common living area as we prepared. Each lady put on their matching tangerine nighties and called in  their husbands.

This time all you heard was the men making noise!!! Music played all night and we rejoiced in each other as we fellowshipped in the way that God created just for the married couple. The next morning the guys got up and made breakfast and then ran out to the fishing area with smiles on their faces. The ladies went to the boardwalk and road a group bike, took old times pictures for our great men ( all saloon girls with attitudes....ha,ha,ha,)we had a ball dressing up and laying on the bar. We shopped and had lemonade, cotton candy, frenchfries, and corn dogs.

The guys loved their sexy saloon girl pictures and we had more fishing gear waiting for us. We had a wonderful time. So moral of the story...if you want your guys to romance you then include something that they really like to do. Put that together with something that we really like to do then gather up some great married friends and plan a weekend to remember.

If you can't think of a theme then try ours there is nothing like:

CUPCAKES, SODA POP, AND FISHING....Oh My!!!

When the music stopped so did the Love!!!

Where is the Love?

I am a child of the early 50's. Growing up there was one thing that was very consistent and that was music. It was all around us. We as children and through out our teens even into our early adulthood there was music. We learned to appreciate all types of music. Gospel, jazz, rock and roll, country, classical, hard rock , and contemporary. It didn't matter. What mattered was that this music had words that inspired and seemed to generate love.

Whether it was love acquired, love desired, love lasting, love wanting, or love that had been lost but wanting to be regained...the point was it centered on love. This music seemed to keep couples united. Caring and sharing how they felt. Many men didn't know just what to say to a lady but they could hear words to a song and get a line or two that would win the heart of their lady love.

Men would listen to the words of a song by Smokey Robinson and he would say " I will build you a castle with the tower so high it reaches the moon. I'll take a melody from birds that fly and compose you a tune. Everyday we will play on the milkyway and if that won't do then I'll try something new". Knowing that your man could not do any of these things didn't matter but just the thought that he would try something each day to win and keep you would just lighten your heart and keep you loving him.

The words to the songs were always up lifting and presented women and love in a respectful way. Classics such as Elvis Presley's Can't help falling in love with you when he sings "wise men say only fools rush in but I can't help falling in love with you. Take my hand and take my life too but I can't help falling in love with you". These songs in my opinion kept love alive and marriage strong. It focused on love and togetherness. If you were having a difficult season you could put on the music and it would soften your heart.

Even when the marriage was in trouble you could hear songs like the Chilites when they sang "oh girl I'll be in trouble if you left me now. Cause I don't know where to look for love and I just don't know how." Or Johnny Mathis as he sang "chances are you believe the stars that fill the sky are in my eyes." Or the Temptations when they sang "the girls alright with me you know the girls alright".Or even the rock bands like the Rolling Stones when Mic Jagger sang " I can't get no satisfaction..and I tried and I tried and I tried." You have the gospel with "Falling in love with Jesus is the best thing I've ever done."

So when did we loose the love? When did couples stop looking dreamy in each other's eyes? When did marriage and relationship take on such a negative connotation? Personally I think when the music stopped. When the love songs were replaced with pounding demonic sounding beats from hard rock. Or negative adjectives about ladies and their anatomies by rap groups. When women's-lib decided that it was too demeaning to receive love in this way and more and more songs about "I am woman here me roar."

I have no problem with women being treated as equals where work is concerned but I do have problems when society tends to forget to give us our respect. When the world mistreats us just because they feel that we are the weaker sex. We are still the hand that rocks the cradle. We are still the ones that set the love tone. We are still the ones whom God created to be a help to man. So we deserve to be loved and cared for in all ways.

I'm not saying that music or lack of it is the entire reason that our society is crumbling and marriage is in jeopardy. What I'm saying is that music, art, poetry and books all have an impact on how we live. When kids constantly hear that woman are whores, that lets sacrifice our lives to the enemy, and money is king and the most important thing that we have then they look at our old values as just that old. When couples constantly hear that marriage is nothing but a piece of paper and that it should not be exclusive. That being with one person is old and out dated creates the image that marriage really is not worth all of the effort.

What the love songs did was keep the love in the air. It kept the melody alive in your heart. Think about it...how many times have you heard one of those great songs and it stayed in your head all day. You walked around humming it or singing the chorus or just a word or two. Each time you sang it you began to smile.

We have to bring the love back. We have to put goodness back in our spirits. We have to place focus back on the things that will keep us together in harmony. I really feel that we must start with the music. Why? Music is a universal language in itself. It reaches all. Just singing a love song that supports women and men in relationship helps strengthen the union. Something that allows lovers to dream again. Something that will make the young take notice and see that its easier to win the heart with love then with demeaning words and gestures. It allows the strong woman to understand that its alright to be strong and its just as good to be loving and lovable.

My theory is that when the love songs stopped the words and music changed then slowly without notice love just left. Replaced with all sorts of dysfunction and malice. It is said that music is the soul of God that's why we react the way we do. Likewise man has allowed what was put here for our good to be destroyed and manipulated to a point that we no longer respect each other or what is good and wholesome.

I would like each one of you reading this blog to go home and put on a oldie but goodie love song. Take your spouse in your arms or by the hand and just slow dance. Listen to the words and feel the music go with it. I can guarantee that before the night is over you will be so deep in physical intimacy that you will wonder where that burst came from (wink wink). Then when you recouperate from this experiment drop us a comment and let me know if my theory was right or wrong.

Finally I leave you with these words:"Finally, brethren whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report: if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8. What Paul is telling us is to find whats good in this world and put our focus on that to get us through. Marriage as God created it is under attack. I feel that by loosing the music the love songs that our focus has moved away from love. Only we can bring it back.

One of our favorites is by Frankie Beverly and Mazie...I've quoted from this song so many times but I just love it..."everyone must make their own kind of love in their own kind of way...your own kind of love is what you feel..."

Now with that said I'm going to go and find my spouse and put that song on and well..........