I Want A Marriage Not Just A Wedding

Seek the marriage it last for a lifetime

A wedding is just a day but a marriage is for a lifetime. Many couples entering into this sacred union never looks at the marriage they only focus on the wedding. There is nothing wrong with celebrating your union in a big way or a small way that is strictly up to you but remember that the focus should be on the marriage. 

There are some traditions where the wedding is more than one day. It maybe as little as one day or as much as a week however no matter what the tradition is it has a set amount of time to begin and end. There is an ending to the wedding aspect of the union. It has to end so that the meat of the relationship can begin and grow. That is the marriage. There is no set time for that to end unless you say for a lifetime as God has ordered it.

The marriage is the union that will allow the couple to remain sealed together through many seasons of their joined life. They will experience seasons when they will find themselves in the valley. A place with many difficulties. A place where it will pull on the union and challenge the couple to seek a place in God to sustain then and give then a direction so they can get out from under. Once the couple has had a few of these seasons they will learn that God is the driving force in their marital union and that He orders their steps as long as they seek Him for His marital guidance. 

Likewise the marriage will have seasons where the couple will be on the mountain top. Nothing could go wrong and they delight in the joys of being one together in Christ Jesus. They experience big highs and it seems the lows will never come. Once more they are sealed in God's love and protection and the marital union grows and develops. The marriage yields its fruits and the couple grows closer than they ever have before. 

It's the seasons of marriage that is what the union is. It's the development of their love of each other and Christ that makes the marriage work. It's being able to count on one another to support the growing relationship of the union that would never have been if it was only the wedding and nothing else. When you seek to be joined in a marital union remember that the ultimate goal is the lifetime marriage and not the day long wedding. Seek the joys of the wedding day but desire the lasting longevity of the marriage. Marriage done God's way will give you the joy of both.

Butterflies

Love God's way will
keep you united during
every season

Valentine's Day is coming and most of us have a focus on love. Recently my husband and I have been spending a lot of time together. This is really a first for us. While we are close to 40 years of marriage during most of that time we had to divide our time together with all of the other things that we had to do to maintain our life. 

You know what they are building a God center life and home. Working, raising children, paying bills, just trying to make it while we grew together as a couple. Now we are empty nesters and I'm semi-retired. My husband however still works full time. Recently we have been blessed with him being off for three months on a long overdue vacation. He has had time on his hands and has been able to rest. We knew that he would be going back to the rigid pace soon so we just enjoyed this rare treat that God blessed us with.

It has been amazing to be together everyday just being a couple. We have found each other once more. Only this time things have slowed up. There are still bills to be paid but not as many. We still interact with our children but they are grown. Now we just go and play with our grandchildren. We still have to work but it's not in the same way. We laugh more than ever. We miss each other more than ever and we cuddle more than ever. 

Its as if another chapter has opened up for us. We are excited about how we will be when we both really retire completely. When we will be able to do the marriage and relationship ministry full time. When he can create his art and I can write my fiction novels. When we will be able to just do whatever we want to do together. During this short time where God has blessed us with a preview of how our life would be we are so grateful that we have each other.

We are so thankful to our Lord that He allowed us to see how marriage His way turns out. He showed us that as we continue to live as He ordered us to then every season will bring us to a unique lifestyle. One that encourage us to grow in Him and love deeper than we ever have. I never thought it could get any better than what we had and now I know that it's going to get even better. 

I encourage you all to keep growing and loving each other in the way that God created marriage to be. Enjoy each season no matter how tough it is. Never stop working hard to maintain your marriage on steady ground. Remember as long as you strive to become one together in Christ each season will surprise you with a joy that you never knew could be. 

One day married or 40 years married you will always look at each other and feel the butterflies. You will always get that feeling that you were meant to be. You will be complete and united. You will enjoy life as God has ordained it for you and know that you are never alone. You will be cemented together during the good and the bad. 

Then like the picture above you can say that:

"Your spouse still gives you butterflies"

What is Love?

What is Love?

This question has been asked so many times. Each time its asked you get a different answer. We have looked at love from the bible's point of view and we have looked at love from the world's point to view. From what I can see is that Love is the creator and like God love is pure, kind, and true. 

In marriage love is the glue that seals the relationship but it's not the only thing that keeps the relationship growing. Love in its purest form in a marriage is selfless. Wanting nothing but to please the other person. While this is great it appears to be one sided and true love will never allow another to be placed in a situation that is so one sided that everything is flowing out and nothing is coming in.

On our wedding day we just focus in on the surface of love. We have that all time feel of how love makes you feel vs. how lasting is love once trouble begins. With marriage love is a daily choice. It has nothing to do with feelings. It has to do with caring enough for another that you are willing to let certain things go. You are able to decide that while you may not feel it you still love anyway. 

When I think of love not only do I refer to the scripture in Corinthians but I look at the true source of love. That is God. He is love. Pure and simple. He never has to love us but He does no matter what we do or don't do. By His example we too have to love our spouses in the same way. We must love them even when we don't like them. We must love them when they prove themselves unloving for a moment or two. We must love them when they are not showing us love. When we do this in our marriage then our foundation becomes stronger and love grows. 

That seal that will keep the couple united for the course of their lifetime. So in answer to our original question "What is love?" I can only answer that love is God and His ways and examples. When we love His way there is no doubt that we will love for a lifetime.