Sometimes inorder to be a great couple you have to be great apart!

You must love yourself first before you can couple with another

Writing this post today seems strange because our emphasis here at 2R1N CHRIST is to promote marriage and relationship. So how can I say that being a great couple would have you at a place of being apart? Our bottom line goal is to establish all married couples to be individuals together becoming one in Christ Jesus. However in order to do that there are times when you just need to be a lone individual before you can really enjoy being part of a couple.

If you have been a part of this marriage ministry you understand that this is wedding season. Many couples are planning and taking that next step. We are elated and have been extremely busy. Not only that we have started our summer season of lectures and are speakers at many local and some out of town marriage ministries as well. We have started the next phase of our ministry which is to establish a social network that places God in the social mix and that is in its infancy stages so its taking a lot of work.

Let me stop here and have a quick sidebar: I must invite you all to become a disciple of the new social network FEELING GOD. Its two weeks old today and a great place to gather and fellowship. http://www.feelinggod.ning.com  sorry end of sidebar back to the blog post.

So to say we have been very busy and in that the regular everyday life of working and living we don't know if we are coming or going half the time. So a strange think happened last Thursday. We found out that a church who had booked us for their spring marriage ministry conference canceled. My long weekend of running around and being busy with the conference etc. was now gone. Driving home from work I had been noticing that I just didn't feel like myself in my physical. I needed something but just didn't know what it was. Thinking that maybe I needed to change my diet (which I do) I decided to stop pass this natural health store and buy some vitamins.

To my surprise once there the store turned out to have a wonderful day spa in the back. I had just missed the May specials (gee whiz) but their prices were reasonable. I set everything up for Sat. since I was free and then wondered what was I going to do with my husband.

I got home and my husband was sitting on the bed making fishing lures. He greeted me with the sunniest smile and then said " So we are free this weekend?" I answered him in the affirmative and he shouted..."great I'm going fishing Friday night and won't be back until the end of the day Sat."!. Then he looked at me and asked as an after thought if I wanted to go. I said no go have fun I have something planned.

Long story short the weekend came. He was away having a ball with one of our sons fishing and fellowshipping. And I was in heaven. I had the best "ME" day ever. I had the works and by the time I left I was walking on air and all was right with the world. I made it home had a light meal and picked up my computer to work only to listen to the Holy Spirit and put it back down. I relaxed and listened to music and just thanked God for the joy of having a day that was just about me.

My husband arrived home excited and beat but so happy. We looked at each other and knew that this day apart was so needed. We talked about each other's day and decided that we must do this more often. We ended up the evening in each other's arms more appreciative of the fact that we were together but enjoying that we could be apart and have time that was only for oneself.

Moral of the weekend. You must have a "ME" day every now and then in order to enjoy the daily couple life. Decide what you want to do and then just do it. When you come back together you have a mini date night where you talk about your wonderful time of enjoying yourself and friends if you are like my husband.

Second moral of the weekend....I've already schedule a repeat of my day in two weeks and have encouraged him to do the same.....ha,ha,ha....

OH THOSE "ME" DAYS GOT TO LOVE THEM!!!

When the music stopped so did the Love!!!

Where is the Love?

I am a child of the early 50's. Growing up there was one thing that was very consistent and that was music. It was all around us. We as children and through out our teens even into our early adulthood there was music. We learned to appreciate all types of music. Gospel, jazz, rock and roll, country, classical, hard rock , and contemporary. It didn't matter. What mattered was that this music had words that inspired and seemed to generate love.

Whether it was love acquired, love desired, love lasting, love wanting, or love that had been lost but wanting to be regained...the point was it centered on love. This music seemed to keep couples united. Caring and sharing how they felt. Many men didn't know just what to say to a lady but they could hear words to a song and get a line or two that would win the heart of their lady love.

Men would listen to the words of a song by Smokey Robinson and he would say " I will build you a castle with the tower so high it reaches the moon. I'll take a melody from birds that fly and compose you a tune. Everyday we will play on the milkyway and if that won't do then I'll try something new". Knowing that your man could not do any of these things didn't matter but just the thought that he would try something each day to win and keep you would just lighten your heart and keep you loving him.

The words to the songs were always up lifting and presented women and love in a respectful way. Classics such as Elvis Presley's Can't help falling in love with you when he sings "wise men say only fools rush in but I can't help falling in love with you. Take my hand and take my life too but I can't help falling in love with you". These songs in my opinion kept love alive and marriage strong. It focused on love and togetherness. If you were having a difficult season you could put on the music and it would soften your heart.

Even when the marriage was in trouble you could hear songs like the Chilites when they sang "oh girl I'll be in trouble if you left me now. Cause I don't know where to look for love and I just don't know how." Or Johnny Mathis as he sang "chances are you believe the stars that fill the sky are in my eyes." Or the Temptations when they sang "the girls alright with me you know the girls alright".Or even the rock bands like the Rolling Stones when Mic Jagger sang " I can't get no satisfaction..and I tried and I tried and I tried." You have the gospel with "Falling in love with Jesus is the best thing I've ever done."

So when did we loose the love? When did couples stop looking dreamy in each other's eyes? When did marriage and relationship take on such a negative connotation? Personally I think when the music stopped. When the love songs were replaced with pounding demonic sounding beats from hard rock. Or negative adjectives about ladies and their anatomies by rap groups. When women's-lib decided that it was too demeaning to receive love in this way and more and more songs about "I am woman here me roar."

I have no problem with women being treated as equals where work is concerned but I do have problems when society tends to forget to give us our respect. When the world mistreats us just because they feel that we are the weaker sex. We are still the hand that rocks the cradle. We are still the ones that set the love tone. We are still the ones whom God created to be a help to man. So we deserve to be loved and cared for in all ways.

I'm not saying that music or lack of it is the entire reason that our society is crumbling and marriage is in jeopardy. What I'm saying is that music, art, poetry and books all have an impact on how we live. When kids constantly hear that woman are whores, that lets sacrifice our lives to the enemy, and money is king and the most important thing that we have then they look at our old values as just that old. When couples constantly hear that marriage is nothing but a piece of paper and that it should not be exclusive. That being with one person is old and out dated creates the image that marriage really is not worth all of the effort.

What the love songs did was keep the love in the air. It kept the melody alive in your heart. Think about it...how many times have you heard one of those great songs and it stayed in your head all day. You walked around humming it or singing the chorus or just a word or two. Each time you sang it you began to smile.

We have to bring the love back. We have to put goodness back in our spirits. We have to place focus back on the things that will keep us together in harmony. I really feel that we must start with the music. Why? Music is a universal language in itself. It reaches all. Just singing a love song that supports women and men in relationship helps strengthen the union. Something that allows lovers to dream again. Something that will make the young take notice and see that its easier to win the heart with love then with demeaning words and gestures. It allows the strong woman to understand that its alright to be strong and its just as good to be loving and lovable.

My theory is that when the love songs stopped the words and music changed then slowly without notice love just left. Replaced with all sorts of dysfunction and malice. It is said that music is the soul of God that's why we react the way we do. Likewise man has allowed what was put here for our good to be destroyed and manipulated to a point that we no longer respect each other or what is good and wholesome.

I would like each one of you reading this blog to go home and put on a oldie but goodie love song. Take your spouse in your arms or by the hand and just slow dance. Listen to the words and feel the music go with it. I can guarantee that before the night is over you will be so deep in physical intimacy that you will wonder where that burst came from (wink wink). Then when you recouperate from this experiment drop us a comment and let me know if my theory was right or wrong.

Finally I leave you with these words:"Finally, brethren whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report: if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8. What Paul is telling us is to find whats good in this world and put our focus on that to get us through. Marriage as God created it is under attack. I feel that by loosing the music the love songs that our focus has moved away from love. Only we can bring it back.

One of our favorites is by Frankie Beverly and Mazie...I've quoted from this song so many times but I just love it..."everyone must make their own kind of love in their own kind of way...your own kind of love is what you feel..."

Now with that said I'm going to go and find my spouse and put that song on and well..........

Marriage Under attack Or Not???

Marriage as we once knew it is under attack!!!

 For some odd reason marriage created by God is no longer good enough. Now we have marriage defined in several different ways. There are people who are of the school that marriage can be with two people of the same sex. There are some who feel that marriage is no more than a civil union. Still others feel that marriage is no more than a consented contract between the two and whatever they want can be added to that contract even an infidelity clause.

Some feel that just living together is the same as being married.

With all of these new views no wonder our children are growing up very confused.

Many people feel that its just a manner of choice and to be honest this statement is true.

The only thing that we have that's truly ours is our free will choice.

No one should take away a person's right to choose.

 However as God's children we need to live the life that He created for us.

We need to choose marriage and relationship according to His Will.

By understanding and learning how to live together according to the standards that He decreed

for us then our marriages will be more than just a contract or a new fad.

According to our Heavenly Father this coupling was to last our life time.
Many couples come together now with the concept that if it doesn't work
then they can just get a quick divorce.
Now that we have those "no fault" divorces then this can be done quickly and for
no other reason than one spouse didn't like the way their food was cooked. Or maybe they
didn't like the fact that the other spouse had gained weight.
Really any simple reason can be used to get a divorce.

Many couples don't want to bother with anything. They live together sometimes for
years and then look to the law to see if they are considered common law married.
Marriage God's way involves having a covenant relationship vs. a contract.
It involves going into the marriage knowing that its for a lifetime and the word divorce is not
allowed.

The couple must work together during the good times and the bad. Fidelity is a must.
God must be the Head of the marriage. The glue that keeps the couple going when
they could not manage it on their own. So many believe that the marriage is
base solely on the couple. To buy into this concept will have us basing
our marriage on the emotional feelings of the individual spouses.
Men and Women are too fickle to have something so powerful
and permanent resting on their shoulders.

Only the Creator can understand what we will be faced with and allocate His
strength, power, and peace to keep us united together as one.
I can't say that these other concepts are right or wrong.
I can only base my marriage on God's Word and Will
Some may have a great relationship with their contract marriage. They may
be able to live with the clause that allows one or the other spouse to
 to have another person added to the relationship.

Then there are others who feel that two men or two women can be united in holy matrimony.
These people want to have a bonding relationship. I can understand this and I see
nothing wrong with them living their lives as they see fit. However this is not the intentions
of God who happens to be the Creator of marriage.
A civil union yes a marriage no.
Then there are those who only see marriage as a civil union. Nothing more nothing less.
Just two people coming together with the law saying that if anything happens then
your partner may obtain the material things that you have acquired.

There are many today who's life's goal is to take God out of everything. They want
 to reduce our lives to a series of sordid filthy behaviors.
They want to break up couples and reduce families to having the government telling
them how they should raise their children. They want us to see
their way of life while denying us our love of God and all things good and holy.
The first thing that satan did in the garden was to break up the couple.

To separate the man and the woman. This is the same trick that he is using
today. As he demeans marriage to nothing but a long term boy friend
and girl friend relationship. Or a same sex affair.
So we ask you. Is marriage created by God under attack?
Do you feel that marriage should be a lifetime commitment?
Should two people of the same sex be united in holy matrimony or a civil union?
Should marriage be just a contract that you may add what you want to it including
an infidelity clause?

We leave you with some controversy.
We leave you with something to think about.
We leave you wondering if any of this matters or should we still allow God to rule our marital lives?
We leave you with choice as to what is important to you for your marriage.
Then finally we leave you with this

After pondering on this topic look deep into your heart
quiet your spirit and listen to what the Spirit of the Lord has to say
He will confirm what marriage is. He will instruct you and your spouse how to live.
Then He will give you peace to face whatever this world wants to say or do about what they label as
marriage.

Men may attack marriage as created by God all they want
but as for me and my house
we will follow the Lord!!!

So what do you think
marriage under attack or not?