This Week I Am One Of The Guest Bloggers For "While the Dervish Dances"

Is that You God?

From: the pen of Rev. LaWaughn Rouse at Radical RevLa

To: God Almighty Power@heavenmyhome.org
Hey God,
It’s me, yeah me, Radical RevLa. Thought I’d send you an email because let’s face it, this is the fastest way. Thank you for giving me the time I needed to make sense of our last conversation. I understood what you were trying to tell me but didn’t want to accept it. The bird in the nest thing is hard for me to accept but the concept was exactly what was needed at the time. Likewise the caterpillar and the cocoon. The only way to evolve – and yes, really, I do get it! – is for a mother to stop mothering, or rather, to mother in a different way. But oh it is so hard to do. See, my daughter is my princess, my baby girl, the last child I will ever have. And she needs me.......to read entire blog  http://www.cathykozak.com/

This week I have the honor to be one of the guest bloggers at "while the dervish dances" a blog by Cathy Kozak. She is a great author and has a wonderful blog. She also has a book coming out soon. Please continue reading my post "Letters From The Edge" and enjoy her blog posts as well. She can also be found at She Writes.

Marriage Under attack Or Not???

Marriage as we once knew it is under attack!!!

 For some odd reason marriage created by God is no longer good enough. Now we have marriage defined in several different ways. There are people who are of the school that marriage can be with two people of the same sex. There are some who feel that marriage is no more than a civil union. Still others feel that marriage is no more than a consented contract between the two and whatever they want can be added to that contract even an infidelity clause.

Some feel that just living together is the same as being married.

With all of these new views no wonder our children are growing up very confused.

Many people feel that its just a manner of choice and to be honest this statement is true.

The only thing that we have that's truly ours is our free will choice.

No one should take away a person's right to choose.

 However as God's children we need to live the life that He created for us.

We need to choose marriage and relationship according to His Will.

By understanding and learning how to live together according to the standards that He decreed

for us then our marriages will be more than just a contract or a new fad.

According to our Heavenly Father this coupling was to last our life time.
Many couples come together now with the concept that if it doesn't work
then they can just get a quick divorce.
Now that we have those "no fault" divorces then this can be done quickly and for
no other reason than one spouse didn't like the way their food was cooked. Or maybe they
didn't like the fact that the other spouse had gained weight.
Really any simple reason can be used to get a divorce.

Many couples don't want to bother with anything. They live together sometimes for
years and then look to the law to see if they are considered common law married.
Marriage God's way involves having a covenant relationship vs. a contract.
It involves going into the marriage knowing that its for a lifetime and the word divorce is not
allowed.

The couple must work together during the good times and the bad. Fidelity is a must.
God must be the Head of the marriage. The glue that keeps the couple going when
they could not manage it on their own. So many believe that the marriage is
base solely on the couple. To buy into this concept will have us basing
our marriage on the emotional feelings of the individual spouses.
Men and Women are too fickle to have something so powerful
and permanent resting on their shoulders.

Only the Creator can understand what we will be faced with and allocate His
strength, power, and peace to keep us united together as one.
I can't say that these other concepts are right or wrong.
I can only base my marriage on God's Word and Will
Some may have a great relationship with their contract marriage. They may
be able to live with the clause that allows one or the other spouse to
 to have another person added to the relationship.

Then there are others who feel that two men or two women can be united in holy matrimony.
These people want to have a bonding relationship. I can understand this and I see
nothing wrong with them living their lives as they see fit. However this is not the intentions
of God who happens to be the Creator of marriage.
A civil union yes a marriage no.
Then there are those who only see marriage as a civil union. Nothing more nothing less.
Just two people coming together with the law saying that if anything happens then
your partner may obtain the material things that you have acquired.

There are many today who's life's goal is to take God out of everything. They want
 to reduce our lives to a series of sordid filthy behaviors.
They want to break up couples and reduce families to having the government telling
them how they should raise their children. They want us to see
their way of life while denying us our love of God and all things good and holy.
The first thing that satan did in the garden was to break up the couple.

To separate the man and the woman. This is the same trick that he is using
today. As he demeans marriage to nothing but a long term boy friend
and girl friend relationship. Or a same sex affair.
So we ask you. Is marriage created by God under attack?
Do you feel that marriage should be a lifetime commitment?
Should two people of the same sex be united in holy matrimony or a civil union?
Should marriage be just a contract that you may add what you want to it including
an infidelity clause?

We leave you with some controversy.
We leave you with something to think about.
We leave you wondering if any of this matters or should we still allow God to rule our marital lives?
We leave you with choice as to what is important to you for your marriage.
Then finally we leave you with this

After pondering on this topic look deep into your heart
quiet your spirit and listen to what the Spirit of the Lord has to say
He will confirm what marriage is. He will instruct you and your spouse how to live.
Then He will give you peace to face whatever this world wants to say or do about what they label as
marriage.

Men may attack marriage as created by God all they want
but as for me and my house
we will follow the Lord!!!

So what do you think
marriage under attack or not?

What Every Couple Needs

We had no idea when we decided to get together with friends as three happy Valentine's couples just what we would discover. We are all in ministry either ministers, deacons, or the director of music in our churches. We each have separate ministries outside of church. The guys are also together in an up and coming male gospel group and we the ladies are their supportive others. Then we have outside work and families to take care of.

So to say that we are very busy is really an after thought. We met for our routine group meeting and at that time we had decided that the married couples would get away for Valentines day. One of the couples had a time-share and obtained a log cabin that would house all of us. We would go down to the wilderness for a long weekend. It was up to the ladies to plan activities and the food. We were told by the men that they would be fixing our Valentine breakfast on the Sunday before Valentines day. They also let us know that they would take the ladies out for a fancy dinner the Saturday before.

The ladies planned the food and the fun. We came up with a theme and worked the entire weekend based on that theme. We named it the "three R's". Rest, Relaxation, and Romance. We were determined to have a free weekend with a focus on the three R's. The ground rules were that no one could bring any work with them. That we would not talk about work or ministry. That we would have an old time "just have" fun weekend.

The cabin in the woods was great. I was in charge of coming up with the games, music, and the food for the first night. Our goal was to make it easy for everyone. We obtained trays of food already made up. Since all the ladies were on diets we were told by the men that the diets were off for the weekend. We got around that by having good food but healthy along with cake and candy. We had surprise gifts for all the couples to take home to remember this wonderful weekend.

We decided that we would work the three R's in reverse. The first night was relaxation. We got there and the first couple had the fire place going and all the rooms assigned. My husband and I brought in the food and set up the music. The third couple started the conversation going as we set up the table. We had decided that we were going old school. We were going to have a PJ party. The guys were sent to get on their PJ's as we decorated the room and got on ours. When they came back to join us they were shocked to see the room turned festive as if we opened a Valentine gift card from Hallmark.

We danced to music that we grew up with. We laughed and joked. We did old dances that we did as youngsters. We ate great food and talked about how each couple met. We stayed up to 4am that first night and then retired to our rooms. The next morning we woke at different times and went back to sleep as we wanted. Finally we all got up and in Pj's went to the table and ate the food we had left from the night before.

Today was Romance. We decided where we would go out for dinner. And each couple got ready to go. It was funny because all the couples ended up showering together in their separate bathrooms. We had not showered together in years. We went out to dinner and had a wonderful relax time. After dinner we stopped past the grocery store so the guys could get the breakfast for the morning and we got snacks for the night and dinner for Sunday.

We went back to the cabin and started our evening of Romance. The guys were such good sports. We had every game we could think of that we grew up with to play. Each game such as hide and seek or truth or dare and even spin the bottle all had an adult married theme. We played music and had so many twist to the games. Each game brought the couples closer together and ignited their love for each other.The last game ended in a way that each couple retired to their bedroom for their night of romance. We had love music playing all night and had games for two once each couple was inside of their haven of romance.

We had already informed the guys that Sunday was the third "R" and it was rest. The ladies were not going to do a thing. It was great the ladies got to sleep late and the guys got up and fixed a breakfast that any great chef would be proud of. They set the table with the nice china. Had the candles lit and when we came out each husband had sticky red hearts all over their faces. We fell out laughing and just enjoyed our meal and day of rest.

We went back to sleep, watched TV, listened to music, had deep conversations and heated up the meal we brought the night before and sat down for dinner. My husband kept saying this weekend is "priceless". Of course the ladies did not want to leave. We had the option to stay one more night but bad weather was predicted and we all had to be back at work early. The ladies pouted like children and the men (who didn't want to go either but knew that somebody had to be adult) push for us to leave late that Sunday night.

We cleaned the cabin and got everything in order as per the resorts directions. We came together and everyone gave their gifts to each other. We got into a prayer circle and prayed and gave thanks to God for the wonderful glorious weekend of love. Every couple rekindled their love for one another and had benefited from the three "R's". My husband took parting pictures and everybody gave hugs. We all left to go back home and had a peace that is still carrying the couples today.

So what does every married couple need? Sometime either alone together or with other loving couples. A get away for a day, weekend, or a week of the three "R's". Rest, Relaxation and Romance. Make it fun and get out of your comfort zone. Just enjoy the gift of love that God has blessed you with.

And oh yea.....do it often as you can

In fact the couple three are doing this again in April only this time we are going to the beach....The three "R's" here we come again!!!

PRICELESS

Can you tell me...what is love and where does it dwell?

Love is in the Air!!! Its that time of the year that we can just sit back and focus on the things of love. Many have mixed ideas about Valentines Day being a made up holiday so that the card etc. companies can make some money this could be true or not. I really don't care. What I do care about is that there is a time that everyone can recognize that its time to outwardly show love.

Its fun to walk through the stores and just see all of the red, pink, white balloons, teddy bears, and lovely flowers. Even the worse of the worse husbands, boyfriends, lovers or just friends will make an attempt to get in on the love. You get to hear love songs. You see people walking hand in hand as they go out on a date.

Those who are not involved will still go out and get with friends that they love just to make sure that they get to enjoy the loving feeling that's surrounding us during this time. So really what is Love and just where does love dwell?

Many have attempted to answer that question. When asked what was love Jeremy Taylor answered :Love is friendship set on fire". Kahlil Gibran stated "Ever has it been that love know not its own depth until the hour of separation." When asked where does love dwell Jean Paul F.Richter states "Paradise is always where love dwells".

So where do we get the answer to this question we wonder? We all know that there is love. We all know that it just pops up when we least expect it. We all know that during this season we are made to focus on it. But we really don't know what love really is and where it dwells.

To answer those elusive questions there is a place we can turn to and obtain any answer we need. For those of us who know Him we know that all we have to do is just read our instruction book. What is Love????...maybe we should be saying Who is Love???

GOD IS LOVE...plain and simple. All consuming love. What we feel for each other is just a tip of the iceberg of love. Where does love dwell??? In our hearts and being as we embrace Him. As we take a small taste of Him and past it on that love just grows and becomes a consuming fire.

So now you know as you allow the Him To Live and Grow In You then you can't help but show love. Not just during a time that someone thought to make us aware but everyday that you live and breathe. You will look at your spouse and loved ones in a different way because you have discovered just where love dwells and just what love is.........

Just in case you forgot what and where we will repeat it again.....

YOU ARE LOVE AND IT DWELLS INSIDE YOUR HEART!!!

Excuse me sir...what is your picture of love?

As we approach Valentine's Day many people who normally would not think of love begin to do so. We see men standing in line at the nearest grocery, or drug store with pink, red, and white candy hearts in hand. We see them with roses in red or whatever color they can get them. Some look as if its a chore to be doing this type of shopping. Some look as if they are completely lost just there following the leader. Then there are some who appear happy and take their time to read each card to make sure it says just the right thing. Those men pre-order their roses in her favorite color. They call ahead and make dinner reservations and to make sure she has something sparkling to wear on her finger or around her neck. What makes this man different from those who are doing it because its expected or part of their duty? What makes this man appear truly happy to bring a smile to his loves face? This man has a picture of love in his heart. He sees his spouse as that part of himself that God created from his rib. That someone made just for him. This man knows that Valentines day is set aside to outwardly show the world his love but this man shows his wife that same type of treatment each and everyday. This man when asked what is your picture of love this man sees God and knowing this he sees God as love in his spouse.

This man is a man of God. He knows what love is. Knowing that God is love and that He created marriage for man and woman to become one in Christ allows him to have a picture in his heart of his spouse that places her in the heavens. She is to be cherished as a great prize. As she devotes herself to him in respect and love he in turns gives her his love and respect. He wants to keep a smile on her face at all times. This man also understands that with love sometime there is conflict but it does not take away from the love. Conflict is worked on in a way that both parties are heard and resolution is maintained. Then at the end of the day its back to the love.

In order for anyone to love they must form a picture of realistic love in their mind and heart. They must study the attributes of Christ and see what He gave up for His Bride. Once man forms that picture in his head and heart he can't see his spouse as anything but love. There is nothing that he would not do to show his love, gratitude and thankfulness to God for giving him this gift that's greater than any precious jewel that is on earth.

So with this Valentines day just take a look at the men as they go about with their love duties. Note their non-verbal communication. You will be able to see those men who have a true Godly picture of love for their spouse just by their actions. Those men will be the ones that when asked excuse me sir...but what is your picture of love? Those men would look you in your eyes and with a smile on his face would answer...why my wife of course!!!

Time to Invite God In

Time to invite God In

There should never be a time that you don't invite God into your individual life. As a couple it is very important to invite him in together as one so you can receive His guidance for your lives as a unit. He is the head of your family and before the body can move it must get the signal from the head. God's Word as given to us from the bible emphasizes the significance of our spiritual condition. It tells us the importance of being on the same page as a couple spiritually. We can not reach our full marriage potential if we are in different places spiritually.

This fall as our ministry begins its new sessions of workshops our focus is on intimacy. We will begin with what is known as spiritual intimacy. God's plan for his married couples is to obtain intimacy on all levels not just physical. Spiritual intimacy enhances our physical intimacy to a level that expands us beyond our wildest dreams. We become connected deep down into the core of our being and we become one in every way. Spiritual intimacy is the foundation for all intimacy between a loving couple.

  

Any good construction is only as strong as its base. By seeking spiritual intimacy it allows the couple to develop trust, oneness, and closeness. It places God as the Head of the household. It completes the marriage making it stronger. By taking the focus off of self and selfish needs and placing it on God and Kingdom building. It gives the couple a secure center to work from as it introduces hope and joy into the marriage. It provides a home environment where there is safety, peace, love and forgiveness. Most of all it reduces conflict between the couple.

As you start reflecting on your marriage or relationship this fall make sure to invite God in. It's time!!! If you have not begun to develop spiritual intimacy now is a great time to start. You can start by first talking about it. Discuss your true beliefs. Talk about your religious backgrounds. Did you attend church growing up and how does that affect you as a married person today. Many of you reading this now will think that this is something that the couple should have investigated at the beginning of the relationship, and I too agree. However in most cases spirituality is not something that most new couples discuss, and many never have pre-marital counseling.

Second do you as a couple attend church? If not, a good first step is to find a good bible based church that both of you agree to attend. Then attend regularly and get involved in your church family. Find out from God what work He wants you to do in the church. We all have jobs and there is nothing too big or too small when it comes to Kingdom building.With the right church home you will be provided with the spiritual foundation you need for learning and relationships. As a couple you should join the marriage ministry at your church, if the church does not have one then join an outside one such as 2-R-1-N CHRIST. As you grow and learn then maybe you can become mentors to other couples and bring this type of ministry to your church.

Third learn how to pray together. At first this may make you uncomfortable because prayer is very intimate, but that is the key to open the gates to spiritual intimacy as a couple. As you continue to do it you will become more comfortable and you will desire to connect together more often in this way with God.

Fourth you must study God's Word by reading and learning your bible. As we stated above being a part of a marriage and relationship ministry will teach you a lot. You must also go to regular bible study sessions and read and study the material. This is something great to do together. Obtain other books that are  relevant to your needs. These sources are good to use to address your toughest questions.

All in all we must remember that God created the union of marriage. He is the ultimate source. We need to keep Him as the focal point in our relationship. The beauty of it all is that when a couple achieves spiritual intimacy as God intended it to be everything else enhances to a super degree. Spiritual intimacy will provide power to you as a couple. You will be able to walk together and never touch the ground because your foundation is built on the Rock of Christ.

Autumn is here Dates are near

 Autumn is a great time to still plan dates outside however you may want to go out the house but do something indoors. So with that in mind and the fact that this time of the year is a reflective time it would be good to plan educational dates. Now please don't stone me just yet. These dates can be fun and you can learn something at the same time.

For example you could plan a date at one of the many museums downtown. You could pick one and then browse around finding out as much information as you can. You could have lunch or dinner there as you discuss your findings. You could then just stroll around talking about what you discovered or what you really didn't like. If you like art there are many galleries you could go to. As you brows you could talk about what you like and didn't like. You could find out more about the artist at one of the local bookstores as you have coffee or tea at one of the cute shops downtown.

The good thing is that this type of date will be either free or very cheap. There are many types of museums that you can go to such as trains, airplanes, old cars, sports, dolls and history. You could go to places such as Mount Vernon, Gettysburg, or Williamsburg where you can enter a time past. Play with it pretend that you are back there. Get into the dress, food and era. You can have pictures taken in the attire of the day so you can remember the date. You could eat at one of the restaurants that serve the same type of food that was eaten during that period of time. Some of these places if you have the funds will have places for you to stay the night.

You could also find information on the different sightseeing areas where you could go up in the mountains and over look the valleys. You could learn about the local wildlife and plants. You could go to Luray Caverns and experience being in a cave like dwelling and then obtain more information about the caverns.

Another way of doing an educational date is to sign up together to take a class at the local community college. They offer many inexpensive classes that last a couple of weeks or a couple of weekends. Find something that you both would like or you can pick something that would help you improve your home. You could take a class on money management or planning for your future. Classes on business that you two may want to open. It will give you something to do on your weekly dates and something to talk about as you study together.

One outstanding educational date night adventure would be to attend bible study together and then over coffee/tea discuss the lesson. Many churches are offering free sessions on many aspects of the Christian life. This date will allow your spiritual intimacy to grow along with your emotional and educational as well.

You could go in another direction with the educational date night such as taking piano or guitar lessons,dance classes, photography, computer skills, cooking or gardening. There is so much you can do as you take a date night to learn. It will keep the brain active and its great for keeping you young.

If you want to combined physical activity with learning you could take yoga, karate, aerobics, boot camp or work with a trainer. You will not only learn but look and feel good after the class ends.

Of course at the end of the date you could return home and cuddle as you talk about all you have learned on your date. While talking caress and enjoy the feel of your spouse/mate. This is your time. As always even with educational dates end it with your well deserved physical intimacy. If you don't ever connect together that way at any other time make sure that all date nights end in becoming one physically. Unless its a health reason and even then come up with some other way to achieve that connection.

Invite God into this time of togetherness with thanksgiving and praise. Never forget this gift of love that He has blessed us with.